Friday, May 31, 2013

Five Year Old Death is ready for the designers after today

I have found so much healing in this book but I am so happy to see it about done. I have had so many battles in my life that I just would not deal with because if you deal with them they are more real and the pain hurts all over again. You find yourself dictating your whole future because of your past and with that you miss out on so much in life. I have had a whole lot of heartbreak in my life and I have also done a lot of wrong. I feel like I have found myself along the way within the chapters of this book and that maybe just maybe life will be more than an everlasting doom to live in. I know people will probably be pissed when the book is out but their names are not in the book and for once my life is going to be about me and how I as a human being can heal and move on. I have always worried about everyone else and for the first time ever I refuse to put myself in a dark corner. Life gives us many roads and missions to walk and accomplish and mine was this book and all of the turmoil that comes with my past pains. I am free now of the shadows that have always been on my heels and life seems brighter everyday. Life will always be here to live of we give it the chance to be lived to the fullest. Unlike others I refuse to live unhappily just to please anyone else! I cannot and will not any longer cry and fear the unknown that life has to offer me. I will not sit in an empty room and think of a better life that I am to much of a coward to live. If this book does nothing but help one person find themselves out of the dark then I will be happy. This was the hardest story to write and many tears have been shed while I wrote it but I am happier and more alive now than I have been for a very long time. I will always have nightmares of my past when I was a child but now I know that I am no longer that scared child. I will always have that one true love that I will never find again but that does not stop me from loving again. I am now in life to live, no longer holding a cloak over myself in a darkened room of pain. I really have to say thank you to everyone who has stood beside me and dealt with my upsets while writing this book. I really want to thank every last person who has helped me along the way through the past few years. Even with heartbreak memories have been held close to my heart and I have overcame so many obstacles that I never thought I could achieve. I will always be thankful for that when everything else is said and done. I love all of my followers and thank you for keeping my dreams alive and fulfilling. <3  

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