Monday, July 29, 2013

Shadows

Have you ever felt so empty
like everything has disappeared
your heart is full of hate and dark
your thoughts are so tormented

Tormented by past and present
by the reflections in the mirror
looking at yourself dissipating right in front of yourself
dark shadows cover your eyes
where once makeup lingered

Nails biting into the palms of your hands
searching for any pain
that will make you forget what you feel inside
body shaking in a rocking gesture
tears falling uncontrollably

Hating yourself because you always knew better
better than taking anything to heart that was told
anything felt
and you knew
knew from the beginning of your time
but you allowed it
you allowed the pain into your life
allowed it to take your heart away on a cloud of lies

You find nothing promising
you just rock and beg anything to take you away
anything to take you from a world you were never meant to stay
There is nothing left
no hope
no joy
all gone in the name of a ploy

You sit and scream within yourself
why
what have I done to deserve
life to be so full of pain and heartache
Why can I not be where peace sits quietly
away from the world
away from me

Building yourself up
finding the strength
to find the end to your eternity
new dreams finding you in your sleep
how hard could it be
slit to the wrist
or knife to the heart
where it has always laid in rest
a bottle of poison to swallow
where you can drift into a sound sleep

Never having to wake to another battle that always awaits
fist shattering the mirror that shows no more reflections
searching for the power
to say enough is enough
I do not have to stay any longer
my time here has shown me
nothing waits on the other side of the rainbow
there is only this tunnel
it is dark in color
it begs to be found
begs to be walked
begging for the lost
to no longer be visited by the shadows
of life

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