It is what I see in my nights of restless sleep that torment me in my waking hours. I search for what I will never find and find what will only drive me into hell a little deeper every day. I have always been just me and that has been fine and I love the heart that I have been blessed with even through a life that I could take or leave without any turns looking back. Does this mean I do not love my family or children? Does this mean that I really want to die in my sleep like I beg every night before I once again fall into my own hell of night tremors? This is something I ask myself every single breathing day that I am made to exist on earth! I love my children but maybe just maybe they would be better off without a mother who cries in her sleep for no reason that they could ever understand or that I would even want to tell them. I am alone in the crowded room that everyone talks about and that may be okay for some but I was meant to love and cherish those who walk in my life. I am lost in the dark and followed by the shadows that are to forever haunt me with nowhere to run but back within myself. I cry a million unseen tears that I hide with a pretty smile upon my face that I wish to let run free and to be seen by just one person that will maybe understand me and understand what I am forever left to feel. I am not mentally ill by any chemical imbalance! I am however mentally ill by the life that I have been given and at the end of the day after I have tried to make everyone else’s life pretty with a pink ribbon, I am left to wonder;
“Did they see me”?
Did you know if you buy an authors book from createspace they get way more royalties than if you buy it from amazon? It is also the same exact book, the only difference is you are buying it straight from createspace. Same book but better royalties for the authors. Why are we always only posting our amazon links then LOL. For a limited time there will be a two dollar discount for any of my books bought through creatspace. The discount code is 6SBYL954 and here is the link!