Tuesday, August 13, 2013

To ILU no more S.B

You know I had a lot of faith in you even after putting me in a van at 16 for another man, yes you said you had no part of it but how do I really know that now that everything else you have said has been a lie. You came into my life four years ago with your pity story of her not loving you and using you for a maid and seamstress but yet you are still there. You told me how upset you were because she wouldn't marry you because you did not make a hundred thousand dollars a year and that all she wanted was someone to do for her but now I see the truth. I know she wouldn't marry you because to her you are poor but you also have used her and me. You use her still for a farm that you told me right up until her surgery a couple months ago you would never do. You plainly told Myla that you could not see yourself having to be with her for the rest of your life. Now I wonder if you were as I know you had wanted to before just trying to get into her pants also. You told her you loved me, not your little gf. What happened? Were you afraid you would not get the farm of your dreams or were you really just using me for a whore for four years. Now I know you told her a lie but we both know you called me first on your cell phone and we talked for 192 minutes about us. You told me that you could never stop thinking of me and she was not ever going to be able to stop us from talking for good which you have always proven true. Everyone thinks that I should have stayed with Lee or Jimmy because they all had heavy pockets but that is not me and never will be. I could live under a bridge for the rest of my life and be happy as long as I was truly loved for me and only me. That is where you and me are not alike! You are more worried about finding new whores whether at the beer store or work and then keeping your pocketbook for your materiel needs than to be with the person you still say you love. You told me to divorce my husband for you "and yes he was violent" but the emotional pain you have caused me within my heart and mind is worse than any scars he has ever left on me. That is what you cannot understand, you see I trusted you and you took advantage of someone who was already scared from a past not worth remembering. You used my past of abuse as your doorway to come into my life and hurt me more but acting as if you really cared and loved me. But is was all a hoax you played on me and her. I hope you live a very miserable life because as you have said over and over you will never be happy living on a farm with her because she is all city. I may be in sever pain now over what you have done to me for four years but guess what? One day I will get over it and I will be happy as you sit and still creep on my social networks wondering what am I doing, who am I with, does he please me more than you did, do I love him more than I ever loved you. Guess what I will in the end be the happiest of us all because I wont be living a life of lies just for green pastures and new toys. You took advantage of me for a very long time and I was stupid enough to fall for it just like she is now. Just wondering, you told me you hoped her hysterectomy would help you two, did it? You may have taken advantage of me when I was at my most vulnerable now and when I was 16 but I am not so stupid to ever allow that again. Thank you for proving to me that every man that has been in my life to this day has been nothing but manipulating, deceitful and vindictive no matter what they show on the outside, including you. You have been by far the worst one because you knew where I had come from and you used my weakness for your own sick benefit.  

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