Thursday, February 9, 2017

The Stalker Inside of Me

I see you
you're like a stalker waiting for your chance to destroy
everything that I have worked for
you take away like a tornado
you leave nothing behind for me
but the fragments of what once was
in a long ago forgotten memory

yea you know that I hear you whispering about me
putting me down every chance that you get.
Nothing but negativity flung my way,
acting as if I will never be good enough for anybody.

I see you
looking around the corner
watching my every move
waiting for me to take one wrong step.
This is what you want to prove
I am always just an inch shy
of being good enough for someone to love or stand beside.

Yea yea, I hear you snickering
you are just waiting for my mind to blow a fuse.
Your clicking your toes together
ready for the kill when the time may come

You want to take my life
right out of my hands.
You want to take my love
from this beating heart that can not risk the loss.

You see things that are blurred in vision
making something out of nothing.
You hear words given by another
and read into them things that are impossible.
You scream your anger just trying to shoot me down,
you have taken every step in your power
to hurt me when things are always better
than ever before.

Just leave me be
just stop talking in riddles that you do not understand
give me a break for just this once
I cannot take anymore
I am ready to find peace and happiness
I am tired of you following me around
like everything that I do is your business
I am my own person now

When I turn and face you face to face
you will not see love in my eyes
you will no longer hear compassion in my voice
I will finally rid you from my life
go find someone else to devastate
go find someone else who will take your thunder
go find someone else who will listen to you
snicker in their ear

I am turning now
I will face you
fear does not hold me back any longer
the tears flood my face like a dam that has been broken
A mirror hangs steadily on the wall
I am finally face to face with you
I finally see the person who has shadowed my whole life
who has caused so much friction
when everything for a change is just right

I am caught off guard because
she has my eyes
and her hair is almost to her waist
with long curls the color of fall
she looks a lot like me

I can see tear streaks have dried on her face
her eyes are almost hollow and cold
she looks bewildered
scared of the shadow that has faced her form
this cannot be
she cannot be the enemy
that I have searched for,
for so long.

With my head bowed down
my thoughts start running astray
could it be that the girl in the mirror
is just the other side of me?

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