Poetry flaws

I have been asked a thousand times
why do I write. I write to release negative
and positive emotions. It is like my silver
lining to everything no matter what
the outcome may be.

I use to crave the creativity of
the words that you and me could
understand and relate to. How exciting
to make something out of nothing.
How compelling it is to find your
own therapy just through the words
that you feel inside of your mind.

Of course I have written about
love and loss, depression and hope
and everything else in between
the lines of life and living. Maybe
once in a blue moon even something
more provocative depending on
my mood and where I may be.

How exciting it was to search and
join every poetry show that I could.
Recite my own words and listen to
the beauty of those who also joined.
But it got tiresome, no longer could
I enjoy my children sitting beside me
listening to what use to be pure pleasure
and beauty.

Where has all of the heartfelt scribes
gone and why has it turned into something
that our children can no longer learn from?
We hear of night pleasures that are best
left behind closed doors. How silly we have
become when this gift God gave us is
pushed aside just to see how many of
the opposite sex wish to join us in our
make believe beds.

Because of this I next to never search
for those shows that I use to crave. Because
of this I just stroll down my timeline reading
to my hearts desire. But then there it was,
stolen property to go with our words. This
has become something of the norm! We cry
our anger when someone slides in and takes
our words as their own but yet we take an
artist photo like they mean nothing at all.

I have heard it all, why then do they put
it out there for everyone to see. Have we
forgotten that we do the same, does that
mean it is up for grabs in thievery? Can
we drop the name of the starving artist
that created the beauty we wish to use?
Maybe show them respect as we ourselves
would wish?

I don't know, maybe it is time to take a
break. Enjoy the real world and not the
fake. And we wonder why ten poetry books
will never sell as many as one novel may.

I have broken my own heart "myself and one hell of a country singer has been working on this and it will be out for everyone to hear soon: EXCITED

I have broken my own heart

leaving myself bruised and torn

clinging to the gates of hell with bloodied fingers

begging for the dark to let me join

I have lain restless nights in this lonesome bed

with a bottle of southern comfort

resting softly in my hand.

All of my energy has been wasted away

for the sun has risen and I have not slept in days.

What I wouldn't have given

 if you had opened your eyes,

what I wouldn't have lost if mine had not been

blinded by your country loving lies.

Anticipating what I knew was not worth the battle,

I gave all that I had and made up what I didn't.

I believed in the fairy tales

where dreams were forbidden,

another drink of this poison,  maybe I'll forget

I have broken my own heart

leaving myself bruised and torn

clinging to the gates of hell with bloodied fingers

begging for the dark to let me join

Yea I have broken my own heart with

every ounce of will that I could muster.

I have paced these floors screaming

at god for the answers that he would not share.

Yea I have broken my heart and done all that I could,

I made sure that the one I loved

would never step near me anymore.

I ran into the dark looking for my own way,

I came out stronger no longer

 begging to hear your name.

I have broken my own heart

leaving myself bruised and torn

clinging to the gates of hell with bloodied fingers

begging for the dark to let me join.

I have broken my own heart believing

I could never move on.

I found the love of my life in the corner of these hills.

For a limited time only, please check out "Five Year Old Death" and thank you to everyone who has supported me the past few years. I love you and thank you ahead of time to anyone who grabs a copy while the E-Book is on sale for .99

For a limited time only, please check out "Five Year Old Death" and thank you to everyone who has supported me the past few years. I love you and thank you ahead of time to anyone who grabs a copy while the E-Book is on sale for .99

Just a thought

 I have been thinking about this for a very long time and I wonder how many other people have thought about it besides myself so here goes. We see more and more drugs on the streets and children popping pills or smoking weed to their hearts content and we wonder what has gone wrong with our country so badly that our children are lost to such a death habit. It is so easy for the government to blame the parent or the crowds that our children run with, I mean of course "who else could there be to blame"? I mean heaven forbid we blame the government who threatens to take our children if we spank them "spanking is not beating" there is a difference. The government has allowed the children to call all the shots in their raising. We have to worry about our children going to school or a friends house and say they were beat when they were merely spanked. When all is said and done the government will also blame you when your child is out of control and then that will yet give them another reason to do as they wish with your child. Along with this you also have teachers wanting and even at times making you take your child to the doctor because, well they are children and some cannot sit still for eight hours through the day. I am not young but I am also not that old and I never remember seeing so many children doped up in school like they are now. And then you have doctors telling you that they need to medicate your child until their liver or kidneys are fried to please these teachers. Once again if you do not do as the school wants and drug your child then there you go again fighting to keep your child. What is a wrong with this picture? I think a lot! If you think about it we are raising children to become drug addicts at the beckon of our schools and government. Yes there are parents out there that leads their children down such a path but there are more that do not. 

  Think about it this way, you have a child who is hyper "meaning moving around in their school seats" so the teacher tells you they need medicine to be calm "another wards a mummy" and you have to get them these meds or they will not be able to teach them. In the past the parent could say that they do not want their child medicated but now we do as the teacher wants or we end up regretting it "the school will make sure of that", we have no choices now on how our child should be raised! So now back to the point, our children have now been put on meds and told their whole lives that a pill will answer all of their problems but when they are eighteen they can no longer have the medication they have been told their whole lives that they need so they can "be good and do what they need to do to be successful" so what do they do? They go out and find the cheapest thing that they can find! Pills from a pill head "that we created also" or pot! Now they can be calm, now they can do what they need to do, now they can be successful, but in reality they are going down a dark alley that they sometimes will never recover from. Once the pills or pot no longer works they move on to bigger things and better highs. It was the way the government told them since childhood was the right way. Oh yes there will be some who says that is a crock but then there will be others who will see it is not such a crock when they open up their minds and really give it thought. 

  I as a parent was made to put my nine year old on pills "to be calmer" and now her liver is screwed up by those pills. I have been made to compromise my daughters health so a teacher can have an easier day. I know she is hyper "I live with her" but her health should not have to be compromised so the school does not have to deal with her. I have an idea, lets allow parents to raise their child and give them a spanking if nothing else works "not beating" and leave the drugs out of the picture! Here is another idea, if you cannot handle a less than perfect child then don't go to school and waste your money to be a teacher. Some of us parents would rather a hyper child instead of a dead one! Here is an idea, lets go back twenty years and do what parents were allowed to do then so we can help solve the drug epidemic and school shootings! How about this, lets stop paying doctors for every prescription that they write so maybe they will not be so pill happy. So the next time the government or school tells you that you cannot spank or to put your child on meds ask yourself this, do I really want to add to the problem? Do I really want to create my own drug addict? Am I the parent, or are they? 

Just a thought!!  

Fun in the mud

The only twerking we done was twerking our butts out of the mud and side of the rocky hills lol, our poor baby needs a bath

A peek into Sinfully Becoming"

Sparrow was deep in thought when she walked back into the kitchen for a drink, a stiff drink sounded a lot better than the sweet tea that she had made earlier that day. 

Well if it isn’t Miss Sin!

With a yelp Sparrow went for the gun that she had lain on the counter when she had thought all was safe.

What the hell are you doing here Lucas? And more so, how did you get into my house? Breathlessly she couldn’t decide if she should shoot him or be thankful that it was just him. 

Boy o boy for a crusader of the night you sure are jumpy young lady, Lucas giggled.

You may not notice this Lucas, but it is dark out right now and I was trying to sleep until your ass snuck into my house like a bandit of the night.

Once again how did you get into my house?

Aw come on I may be a good guy but I can pick locks Sin, it really is not all that hard! You may want to get a dog though; I could have been breaking in to take advantage of your lovely self.

Well now that we have that covered why are you even in my house? Sparrow felt at ease with him even though he had proven he was not as innocent as she had predicted from the first night.

I heard a nasty rumor a bit ago! Some are saying that a dark haired beauty with a hint of craziness was seen with a bunch of gang members today. I couldn’t help but wonder if that dark haired beauty was you! 

Dumbstruck Sparrow just sat there listening to him like she was scared of admitting it was her. How dare he act like he had a say on where she was or what she was doing. This was going to be a pain in her ass trying to keep him out of her business. She was going to have to think of a way to keep him at bay where he belonged!

Are you really sitting there acting like I am a kid who has been sneaking around in "no no" areas? How dare you even question anything about me! Sparrow could feel her face turning red with every word that she spit out at him.

Whoa girl, chill the hell out! I was concerned for you and your well-being! Listen it isn’t like I can tell you who to hang out with in your spare time but have you ever taken into consideration that maybe just maybe you need to find better friends. By now Lucas was laughing to the point of tears, Sparrow really did not see anything funny at all about a man breaking into her home and then giving her the third degree about her pick of friends. 

Well I hate to break up your fun there Lucas but I think I am going back to bed now. I have tons of bad guys to hang out with in the morning, hmmmmmm you reckon they will be up in the morning or still in a drunken haze? Sparrow sneered with cockiness

All jokes aside Sin, just be careful. You play with fire and you may just get burned!

A peek into "Sinfully Becoming"

With just the little of time spent with the gang Sparrow had realized that Billy was catered to by the other gang members. This was intriguing for the fact that it was obvious who ran the show. Billy seemed to be there but yet he wasn't, almost like he had to be a part of something that he really did not want to be a part of. 

Sparrow had concluded that he was Wills little brother, this could be his reasoning for being somewhere that he really wished he was not. He was so out of place, something just seemed off about his presence. It was Sparrows hopes that she could dig enough to find out what was really going on without getting caught. They had accepted her in their clan to easily. Were they to trusting of her since she was a female or did they know more than what she thought they did? 

After showering Sparrow laid down for bed but sleep was the last thing on her mind. She had allowed one of the guys to walk her home so she could build more trust with the gang but she was worried that she had made a grave mistake in doing so. Looking around the room at the pictures that hung on her walls she remembered once again why she was doing something so stupid and dangerous. A tear trickled down her cheek and with a taste of salt she restlessly fell asleep where the nightmares were always waiting for her on the other side of forbidden rest.