Unsettled

Reality can sometimes be so unsettling,
the best of us can walk away.
Lost in a world that they can no longer stay,
grief-stricken so deeply that those closest can not even see.

Left here to grieve,
not understanding how such a smile
can forever be erased.
Left to ask yourself,
was there anything that could have been done
knowing down deep that this was game over.

Looking out the window
the sun is not in site
there is a battle between good and bad
that we are not a part of

Recalling memories
laughs and hey, how is your day
keep playing circles in your mind
thoughts are so deep that you can hear them
in the voice that they portray

Wishing that time could go back
but knowing for one it was at a standstill.
Wishing the grief was not so raw
knowing it will be around for the long haul.

Begging for this nightmare to come to an end
knowing that is just a dream that can be hoped for
nothing can bring back what has been lost
nothing can ease the pain of losing such a man.

Dropping to your knees
praying that God is really a forgiving God
Hoping that he knows
that the man who left,
was not the man who for so long stayed!


 

Ghost

Chasing ghosts among the lost!
granting sanction,
that only I bear upon my shoulders!

Retrieving an image,
that once was only an ambition!
Picking myself up,
only to fall again!

Looking at a silhouette
dimmed by a fogged mirror.
Touching a face with the trickle of a hand,
that was lost to the beholder.

Gracefully walking backwards,
fearing the patches will come unbound.
Keeping the mind busy,
in fear it will find insanity once again.

Running away from the quicksand,
that takes all as its own.
Holding on to a limb,
that the storm has shredded in its fiery.

Determined to stay strong,
where all is lost among the weak!
Reality sparks a glimmer of thought,
upon the ghost, all is not lost!

His possession

He possesses my heart
easily taken from me
with two fist clenched tightly.

He has the ability to feel every beat!
Every skip that it may take restlessly
in the embrace of his arms.

He has the strength to fade away
as all past memories are best forgotten.
His eyes are like looking into a mirror
of the person that I have always dreamt.

He has the power to change life
as it once was, unknowingly giving
up treasures just to lay in his embrace.

He has the ability to crush it,
like it had never existed.
He has the strength
to walk away
as if he never possessed it at all.

Steps back

Let me take a step back
maybe I will figure this out
maybe this battered soul will find redemption
or at least see things more clearer.

No one is perfect
no one is at fault for all of their downfalls
some though use life as
an excuse to not  live at all.

What have we come to?
When will we stand up and defend ourselves
without fearing the invisible images
that are only in our minds and point of views.

My mind is blank
there is nothing left to dream of
nothing seems to fall into place
so why dream about useless things?

Let me take a step back
maybe I will figure this out
or maybe I will just walk away
giving up all that I am or could ever have.

Pieces of me

Bits and pieces of me embarks on life
willing and free to travel
willing to give myself the freedom
of no worries or boundaries

Bits and pieces of me holds back
never trusting
never allowing
never wanting
anyone close enough to meet the real me
who hides beneath a cloak of self loathing

Bits and pieces of me wants to run wild
go on a trip
where no one is waiting at home
take a drink
and keep on going
not a care in the world
as I release my inner demons

Bits and pieces of me wants to stay hidden
where no one can trespass
not even utter my name
keep myself tucked away
in my room of sanction.

Bits and pieces of me wants to yell
scream out all of my anger
to anyone who will listen.
I want to test time
I want to see who is there
and who will stay.
In my manic state of mind
waiting for the girl
that they know and want
in their everyday lives.

Bits and pieces of me is scared
of saying the wrong thing
or never doing enough.
Maybe I don't say as much as I should
when my feelings are suppressed
mockingly

Bits and pieces of me fears nothing
for I have lived it all
what has not been lived has been seen
through the eyes of another's imperfect reality.

Bits and pieces of me will never be written
for I am still learning the mind that I have been given
some good, some bad
in the end there are pieces of me
left untouched
left unbearably insane
left for someone to figure out
on another day.

Fragile

I am so lost,
I try so hard but yet nothing is ever accomplished.
So much has been put on top of my shoulders
the weight has become more than I can bare.
My heart aches for something positive
and my mind screams for everyone to leave me in peace.


No one really understands me,
no one really knows who I am.
I give in when I should press forward.
I fear that no one will ever see me clearly.

Everyone looks at me like I have all of the answers,
unaware that I have no more to spare.
I have allowed people to look at me as a joke
never caring about the pain that they cause me in their boredom.
I let them walk over me like I am made of brick,
in truth I am more fragile than I may appear.

I cry alone because if I speak of my tormented mind
I know they will not understand the words that are spoken.
I have become use to the loneliness
because it surrounds me everyday.
Disorder finds my home crazy with appeals
this one wants this and that one thinks they are never seen.

How can one person be the only person?
How can one person make the world right,
when so much is going wrong?
My emotions bare fruit that can never be eaten,
it sours on my own tongue like a day old lemon.

My eyes water as I try to hold back
this uncontrollable desire to cry.
I know once it starts it will never stop,
I know that the words playing in my head
will only drive this confusion farther.

In my moment of weakness
I shatter into a million pieces.
I hold on to a little bit of faith
knowing that it will soon pass as it always does.
For now though I am left uneasy
shaken to the core of my being.
Just another day
then maybe life will once again be worth the pain.

Love life to the fullest

I am not sure which one of us is the craziest! Great party with great friends! Everyone has struggles but it is what we do to defeat them that matters. Love you sexy