Wednesday, May 22, 2013

You wake up of a morning and thoughts run wild upon your memories of yesterday. You convince yourself that you are put here for one thing and one thing only and that is something that you will discover when the time is right and it is laid right in front of you. You laugh and even cry remembering all the tracks of life you have walked. You feel the passion of your greatest love wash over your body reminding you of every print it left behind. You try to forget all the tears that were shed, as the salt from them still linger on your lips for remembrance. Searching the shadows for the lost, pushing away what can still be found in your everyday life. It seems the past haunts your futures dreams with dictations of what you want but are not allowed. You sit alone in the dark remembering and wanting it so badly but yet you are to scared of change and the words of another that you find unhappiness on the sleeve which should only carry a smile and heart. Everyday you feel like you are on battleground, and the fight is only within yourself. You beg for the strength you so gracefully gave another, but yet come up short on the crossroad. You have seen it, smelled it, felt it, breathed it, tasted it, you have felt the empowerment of real love and left it in regards to fear. You shallowly fall into a game of wits, you allow yourself to believe you are not worth the fight and die within yourself. Growing old where you stand you wish for the long ago days that only you can retrieve in the strength you buried with your dreams. You battle the fight knowing that winning is your only option, or you live life the only way that you know how, unhappily! Everyone says we are put on earth for one thing and one thing only and that we are to wait for it to find us when the TIME IS RIGHT, maybe just maybe we have found what we were put on earth for but our own fear causes us to look the other way. There are those moments that can never be forgotten, like the pointed out big dipper in the dead of night by the one that matters the most as they sit miles away but yet you find it like they were standing right beside you. Its that connection that makes you believe what is right and what is wrong. At the same time it is that connection that scares the hell out of you, the fear of it being broken leaves you alone and hollow. You make your choice and go the other way hoping that you can find at least part if that connection, where it will never be found! You find yourself in a safety net of protection, walls are built and dreams are diminished. You watch as others live their lives to the fullest, emptiness finds you laying yourself to bed with a swallow of poison. 

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