Sunday, October 11, 2015


Walking the halls,
picking up what needs picked up,
washing the dishes and clothes,
nothing left at the bottom when through.

Wiping tears,
giving empowerment when it is needed,
letting go when I have to,
learning the difference between the two.

Playing super hero when problems arise,
fighting off the wolves that knock on the door.
crying silently within,
when hurtful things find there way,
knowing not all can be fixed with the words of a woman.

Walking the halls,
never being seen clearly,
taken for granted,
caused by own hands.

Just a ghost,
doing what needs to be done.
Day of chores,
never taking a break,
living life
not living at all.

Standing in the kitchen,
the form of a ghost now missing.

Monday, September 28, 2015


The entwine of two hands,
forever written in the horizon,
tomorrows promise
of something worthwhile enough
to hold on from now
until the end of days.

A circle that never ends,
a roller coaster of emotions,
a whirlwind of romance
in the still of the night
a star in the sky, leading the way.

Blanket on the sand,
pole in hand,
remembrance of yesterday,
with dreams of tomorrow.
Hand in hand,
nothing was caught
but a kiss in the moonlight
by the one that you could
never be apart!

Freedom found in the heartbeat
that belongs to your other half.
Skin wrinkled and dulled with time,
hair grayed but that's okay.
Nothing matters in the old creaking swing
but an old couple who shares
their special moments and memories!

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Left to be

Written words,
vision of black ink,
tastes of salt,
scrolled in the mind,
left to be!

Nothing comes to light,
that was dream-t,
Worthiness staggers,
in muddied floors of soil.
Dust left to be!

Given life,
taken lightly,
conquered hardships
fall short from good enough.
exhaustion, left to be!

Giving every once,
nothing left but a heartbeat.
Worries about those that live,
dying inside with every step taken.
Me, left to be!

Thursday, September 24, 2015

A Mark on the Soul

I cannot tell you what really makes me thrive
anymore I couldn't really say.
The lack of a forgotten reality
has placed it's mark upon my mind and soul.
Thoughts are my own and never spoken
not many can understand me
even more has given me no reason to be open.

When I find one thing, another leaves
I never really feel as if I am whole.
There is something missing
something that I cannot put my finger on.
I grieve for my own lack of living
I have tried more than most
but roadblocks are always in my way.

The struggles of life has always found me,
sometimes I am tired of trying.
One success leads to many setbacks,
bleed my heart and soul into something
for really no reason.

Choosing others in front of me has always been my norm
the type of person who wants to make others happy
even though I feel so scorned in a restless world.
I am only a part of a routine
that ages me faster than my age reflects.

Sit quietly peering into a world that is not mine to have
envying a stranger
because they have what I so wish to feel.
If I am made to live,
then I want to feel alive!
I want to be seen as more than the go getter
for others who ignore my own needs.

I just need something to call my own,
a dance under the moonlight
with the love of my life.
I want to feel like he is there in that moment,
cherishing the love that I give so freely.

I don't know how I got here
to this place that I swore I would never find again.
Have I made the people in my life believe
that I am stronger than I really am?
I feel weak in this persona of who I portray,
I feel useless in a life that takes me for granted everyday.

I feel a pain throughout my body
I am left to wonder if it is physical
or if it is nothing more than a emotional roller coaster.
For now I will give myself a pity trip.
Someday soon I will do as I always have
and just ignore the pain and get over it!

Write it up as another mark on the soul,
a scar that will linger hidden underneath
waiting to be uncovered once again.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

A Part of Me

Invisibility conquers the soul
you think that you know who I am
but in reality you have no clue.
I feel like I am immortal
flesh covers my body
but I am not seen as human. 

I have been seen through
for as long as I can remember.
I know it is self afflicted
I have always done for another
as I leave myself open.

I am not sure if this can be reversed 
can you go from being every-bodies thing
to someone who means something to you?
How can the shadow on the wall
possess a form of blood and flesh
that speaks volumes that everyone will have to understand.

You think you know me
but you really do not
for if you did you would see the pain
that is hidden under my own cloak of fear.
You think you understand me
but you really never can.
The use of a person for your own good
has never been something that I find appealing.  

I have walked and made a thousand trips
in a circle looking for my escape.
I have thought thoughts that would leave you cold
like I feel in my everyday life.
I do not fear you
as much as I fear myself.
I can feel my self control turning into poison
it is only a matter of time before all is lost.
It is only a matter of time
before the truth of my feelings 
finds you in conflict with yourself.

I am preparing myself for something more,
I am done being nothing more to you than a means to an end.
One day soon you will realize that the shadow on the wall,
was just one part of the whole me.