Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Inner Peace

I took a walk searching for my inner piece,
the further I walked the more that I realized
only the dark waited for me. I stomped my
feet "oh yea this would help" taking my
anger out on a dirt floor! I am always trying
to spread myself thin, make everyone else
happy as I am left searching.

Suppressing my own thoughts and feelings,
so worried about everyone else. I look into
the mirror to see an older version of the girl
who has always stood so silently still. It really
is no ones fault but my own, I allow myself to
be taken for granted and forgotten over time.
Shuffling everyday life, I watch time pass me
by more quickly than it should.

I feel my body start to burn as my thoughts
run away in ever direction. My emotions are
competing against each other. Do I speak the
words that are bothering my heart? Or do I
once again lay silent as I withdraw from the
world and myself ? For some it may be an
easy answer, for me it is just another worry
that only I will have to deal with.

Here I go again, I allowed my feelings to
fester up until I could feel nothing more
than pain. I finally speak my mind but by
then it never comes out the way that it
should. I get so tired of writing my thoughts
in my head, like I have a keyboard and screen
built in. I want to speak my voice without
it being turned around and then avoided, I
want to have that trust in someone without
my words spoiling it.

Until then I guess I will do what I do best,
write down my feelings in search of my
inner peace and self.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

        As many of you know by now, myself and many other writers put together a book called "Battered Shadows" over a year ago. This book is a charity book for NCADV which is short for "National Coalition Against Domestic Violence" where all of the proceeds go to them to help abused victims. The only money that does not go to the charity is the money that Amazon keeps for the printing and shipping. This group helps with many things including housing, food, clothing, scholarships, cars and many other things that help abused victims to get back on their feet. In most cases victims will remain victims because they see no way out of the abuse. Most have children that they are worried will do without and others have been convinced that they could never make it without the abuser. The abused will give themselves a thousand reasons why they can never leave and could never make it because their self esteem has been as brutalized as their bodies and minds have been. Being an abused victim myself I know the hardship of finally leaving and how hard it is to do so with children. Once I finally left I changed my life, going back to school and completing my business degree proved to me that things can change and get better no matter how hard it may seem at first. We picked this charity after searching through many others because it seemed to have the most benefits for the abused. I am aware that not everyone reads or even enjoys poetry so for those who do not think this is something they may want to be apart of please do at least share the book with your friends or drop a word to someone that you do think would enjoy reading the heartfelt poetry by writers all over the world that has in one way or the other suffered abuse. Thank you for your time and patience. 

Amazon link

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence link

Here is one of many poems that are in the book

Shadows of a battered mind 

Reflections of cracked glass
fondle upon the mind of the
broken. Tormented mysteries
find battered and bruised left
on the doorstep of hell's grief.
Searching finds defeated in
the mind of the lost.

Doomed are those who wish
upon a star shaded by the clouds
in the midnight hour. Frantic
cries scream wanting within
the entity of fear and power.
Doomed to be nothing less
than understanding what shall
never be understood.

Tears find jaded love in who
is deserving not, mask hides
behind the face of robotic steps
never to be taken. Truth guarantees
nothing is left in the dark when
seen within the light of the blinded.

Sun opens up to a brand new day, lived
by those in turmoil and fright. A child
whispers in the dark, is this the life I
am to embark on ? For heaven has
found night tremors in the believing,
that in the day one can forget the midnight

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Casualties of War

The sun has arisen
how beautiful the morning seems
to those who walk this land.
The dogs are barking as they
chase cats up the trees,
kittens are meowing looking for their mommies.

Old man and his wife of fifty years,
work in their garden with pride
as the young folk ask for guidance.
This will fill their shelves as it
always has, what is left will go
to the strays.

Children are finding their way outside,
just another day to play with their friends nearby.
The plans were made just yesterday,
morning hide and seek and then maybe a ball game.
Their bellies are not as full as they should be,
but that is nothing out of the normal for them
so they ignore their hunger pains.

A business man just across the way
is ready to open up shop today.
He sees the pain of his community,
it has lived in poverty for many centuries.
It had always been like this since he could remember,
when he can he passes out commodities to
those that he knows always go without.

And then it happens!
Sirens are going off!
This cannot be good!
Death is near to those who understood!

Missiles made from Satan's hands are flying through the air,
striking everyone who stands near.
It does not search only for the evil man, it kills all in its wake.
The children who had their play dates planned,
now lay silent in a puddle of blood on the ground.
Their bodies are mangled, what there is left,
their beautiful faces now resemble the angel of death.

The elderly man cradles his wife of fifty years,
he face is wet with his tearful memories.
He had hoped he would be the one to go first,
he had never imagined that this would be the end
to a beautiful marriage.

A mother has finally freed herself from her homes destruction,
she races from her once comforting house in search of her family.
Dropping to her knees she can run no farther,
she sees the remains of  her daughter.
She weeps as she screams for help,
she can smell the burnt flesh and bones protruding from her body.
She knows this is the end but she cannot except it,
she still screams for help knowing it won't come.
Everything goes numb!

Thousands of miles away people bicker
about who is right and who is wrong.
Who cares about the death toll and blood shed?
Who cares about the truth that is so easily found
in our history books, we fight on like we have
something to say that will change the truth of yesterday.

As we look beyond the truth
and those that lay silent in homemade graves,
we think to ourselves without a tear in our eye
they received what they deserved,
good riddance and good bye!

For they were not humans you see,
we call them nothing more than Casualties of War!

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Battered Shadows book sale

We are trying to make this the month that NCADV will finally get their first royalty check from the book "Battered Shadows". It has been a long road for this book but there has been hope this month with great hearts who want to help such a wonderful group of people. Right now the book is on sale so please go buy a copy if you can. It only takes eleven dollars to help someone in need of food or shelter. The abused need that second chance, will you be a partner in helping that dream come true? Here is the link to go buy the book and thank you

Monday, July 14, 2014

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Religious Wars

Last night my middle aged daughter asked me a question that had been bugging her but because of her belief in the bible she had not asked it out loud. Maybe it was because she was trying to figure out the answer on her own or it was because she was worried that God would look at her differently if she did. Maybe it was because she didn't want to seem like a traitor to her own people, I do not know the answer to that or the answer to the question that she asked me. To be honest I did not even answer her because I did not know the answer at the time, and I still may not but here is what I believe. 

Her question- Why do we go to war with other countries and ourselves over religion? 

Her thoughts about her question- We were raised Christians and so we believe in our God and our bible, it is a way of life for us. BUT other religions were raised the same way and completely believe in their bible and way of living. We make them seem bad when we are making them bad by telling them who and what to believe in. We argue over who's God is better and right and we should not be allowed to. Other countries don't kill us for believing in our God so what makes us kill them and make up different reasons to make it look like it is okay?

At first my thought was WOW this kid has really thought this through for a thirteen year old. I also knew right off that it had to be hard for her to speak the words that she was thinking because she has always been the bible pusher in our home and she loves her God to the fullest. I have for a very long time wondered the same thing, how can we say their God is not just as great at ours? You will hear people say the answer is this, our God does not wish to kill others as these TERRORIST Gods do. But is that the truth or the made up truth we want others to believe? Are they only protecting their beliefs as we do when we go and murder children and their families in other countries? Who is the real terrorist, them or us? I hate to say this but I will! I believe we are! We find any reason to start a war just because someone is not like us and do not believe like us. We go fight for these people "so called rights" as we are losing more of ours everyday. 

I refuse to tell my children that our God is the better God because I have no proof that that is true, I have not read their bibles and I have not sat in their churches during services. I refuse to listen to the media and I refuse to listen to our Government when they spin their tales of why it is okay for us to go into another country and murder innocent people. There is not one country that does not have BAD GUYS, there is not one religion that does not have corrupt followers. I do not believe we should go anywhere and tell others what to believe in when we have that war right here in the Untied States. I think all bibles should be in our schools, not just the one that we believe in and I believe the Untied States would be better off it that were allowed and they just left everyone else alone. 

My answer to her will be this- In their own way they have taken our right from us in which beliefs are right and wrong because we can no longer pray in schools as we once did. But for all of you that will only agree with that one statement think of this, who started the war against religions? Blame your own people before you blame other countries, for we taught them well! 

Sunday, July 6, 2014


Two old people sit quietly on their porch,
they admire all that they had worked for.
The garden is smaller than years gone by,
the swing that they are swinging in has saw
better days. They do not care about the squeak
that they can hear, for in their younger days
a baby rest silently near.

That old barn that can been seen in the far
off distance, well it use to be red with shiny
new hinges. They smile in remembrance of
the first cow that bedded there, it filled many
bottles for the babies that cried in their beds.

Off to the side their once beautiful pond still
holds croaking toads, the weeds are grown
over like it had never been used. But they
do not care because their memories are of
long ago days, where their children had learned
how to swim in their childish amazement.

Least but not last, there it still sits! That once
white picket fence. Oh he remembers well the
day that they had found this place, his wife was
dead set on raising her soon to be babies in
this dwelling. Now the white has washed away,
like the youth that they shared happily as a

The neighbors stare and gawk at the un-kept
homestead, but they wouldn't trade one thing
about it even if they were made. They can hear
them now talking, "have you seen it" and
"can you believe it". But they do not care
as they swing away, for this was the house
that they made a home as they watched their
children play.

They stand up hand in hand, walking into
the house that they love dear. It is time to
cook supper for the grandchildren that
soon would be here!