Reflections of today's world

My country has left me confused with anger and loathing that my reflection is not someone that I recognize any longer. With every passing day I reflect on new events and wonder how we came to the spot that we are in now. What road did we take that gave us permission to hate and spread misinformation that could harm others? When will it stop? When will we remember who we are and that all of us came from somewhere else? We had a beginning; our ancestors came from somewhere else unless we are indigenous "Native Americans"! 

I faulter in my steps and forget that hate is not the way! I want to hate those that are full of hate, yet that is not the way because two wrongs do not make a right. We cannot allow ourselves to become those that we feel contempt for. So, what do we feel for those who have lost their way and allowed hate to take over their hearts? What do we feel for those that we love or care about when we know what lies in their hearts and minds? The confusion has me at a standstill when I reflect on my thoughts that are at times overpowered by dread and distain. 

So, what is the answer? Are you lost in a world of confusion? Can we get back on track or are we the next country that will fall as others think they are helping us rise? Truth of what lies within can be hard to except but it is needed to be who we were meant to be. We need to look at our reflection from within, not the mirror on the wall. 

Obedient anticipation

Prolonged pain suffers
at the hands of the given.
Steps backwards prove
the ending is soon to
come from within.

Strokes of ease help
erase mindful traces
of hate and departure
upon past memories
of long ago follies.

Tormented stares
show meanings to
all. Bound to hide
behind see through
cloth for eternity.

Tremors shudder
hands of faith lost
against timeless fate.
Obedient heart stills
under pressure when
faced with thrill.

Finds strength to
force fears aside,
forever to live with
decisions decided.
Abide by wishes
not agreed upon,
grateful that time
has finally found
my palm.

Traces of brief
light returns in
sweet harmony,
weary enough to
ignore maybe.
Smile reaches
shivering lip in
anticipation of
what if.

Prolonged pain
suffers only at
the hands of the
allowed.Backward
steps prove goodbye
is soon to come
in the tears of a
quivering smile.

Borrowed time

Never guaranteed are
the tracks under our
feet. Here today gone
tomorrow, lost time
can never be borrowed.

In and out has been
our best, time reflections
shows the rest. Sorrowfully
single image walks
away, given time no
longer stays.

Surrendered sparrow
soars mountain tops,
fallen tears never
forgotten against the
pain of yesterday.

Foolish heart finds
peace with unmade
decisions it never
reaped the endless
possibilities.

Heaven finds hell
in the circumstances
of tomorrow. Borrowed
time finds us today,
live it now or tomorrow
it may never be.

Tears of tomorrow

Suffocating from life's
deeming tell tale tremors
of getting what has to
come in time's dooming
walks of loss.

Long gone dreams are
begging to be dreamt
in securities every lasting
hearts desire.Begging
God not to show cruelties
of what life is all about,
blaming him when we
know life is nothing more
than what time is here to
spare.

Tears of the unforgiving
reek down from soaked
faces of pretended smiles.
Knowing trances watch from
afar,devil reaches for what
he shall never have.

Blistering fingers play
along the keys of nothing,
thoughts crave yesterdays
life of carefree.Fist of
anger reddens hands of
why,shuffled along the
tracks of life leaves us
in denial.

Careless frustrations
show who is boss,life
takes all.Moments are
never to be forgotten
when showered upon
the forsaken.

Love finds boundaries,
walls come tumbling
down when in the dark
all is found.All falls
apart when nothing
equals right,no longer
strong enough to fight
what is right.

Yearnings for lost
time can never be
remembered,one
life to live has finally
shown us what we
allowed to be missed.

Tears for heaven
leaves streaks of
sorrow,along the
way we wish yesterday
was tomorrow.

Untold melodies

Danger lurks like
hidden conflicts
among the young
and willing searching
for lights that
are dimmed across
treacherous seas,
waves hitting
aimlessly.

Perched atop their
own battlefield
stands the beauty
of evergreen mountains.
To high to climb
they scream frustrated
cries of release.

Dreams run wild in
the images of the
other side that awaits.
frightened steps can
be felt under hesitant
boundaries of shuffled
feet.

Racing mind plays
tricks of what ifs!
Persistently scared
of risks un-taken,
un-told stories of
the forsaken reflecting
its meaning ever so
softly and deeming.

Tunnel of success
seen through the
blind,enlightened
hearts see where
no other can.Follies
are played out
apart from all
else,time consumes
the weary who in
themselves fine no
trust.

Endangered species
of ones self,heart
of steel turns the
hand of bluff.

Replenished soul
now grows bold,no
mountain to high
to climb when a
determination mind
takes hold.

Walks in the dark
sees no danger,among
the free thoughts
of strange melodies.

Successfully lost

Success finds me
slowly as I take
time out to find
my soul lost upon
the horizon.

Like Apollo I am
smitten for what
my heart desires
and no one else.
I wait out the
hourglass as the
sand slowly trickles
by making way for
new life to quietly
be replenished.

I take a bow as
now it can no
longer be denied,
my life belongs
to the one who
carries my other
side.

My missing beats
find me where they
have always been
lost.A doorway
opens my mind
with endearing
thoughts of what
I know is to
always follow.

Slice of reality

Tunneled in my own
torments of hell
with no release.

Confused and dazed
by thoughts that I
find no escape.

Tricks of doubt
tickle what has
always been an
sureness.

Love him completely
but can no longer
take what little
is only ever handed.

Want what I know
fills my heart and
soul,tired of just
having that when we
lose all control.

Ready to find the
future that always
stands behind bars
teasingly saying
just maybe.

Taking just another
slice out of reality
waiting for my true
love to finally see
we are always meant
to be.

Yesterdays lullaby

I cried last night for you
as I have so often done
time and time again. I
thought of our lovemaking
wrapped in each others
arms where safety has
always been found and
realized that just a little
in my memory my love
has finally dwindled to
an degree of uncertainty.

Steadfast I have held
You to my heart for
Years now gone by.
Never in my mind was
I to believe that goodbye
would be easily told to
my better half,for some
reason I feel it now.

I cried for what we have
together,the secrets
we so feverishly love
to share.Dreams of
days yet to come our
way but yet I feel the
ending slowly making
way to my heart.

I find our friendship
has blossomed to
it's fullest like it
has never been before,
we laugh freely at
each other like
children at play.
silly jokes are told
all hours of the night,
hardships are felt
in our plight.

I cried last night for
what I am losing, this
time by my own mind
of confusion. I feel
you where you have
always been, in my
heart and soul and
my very best friend.

I wonder why the tears
are now falling when
things seen so perfectly
different, wonderment
fills my thoughts of what
it could be. Maybe We are
like a game in overtime,
maybe there has just
been to much pain and
I am now to fall blind.

I cried last night in
thoughts of us, left
apart from my heart
I thrash. I want what
you keep at arms
length but not as
I done in other games.

I am prepared to lose
as always,but not
expecting the same
pain. It is apparent
now that the choice
is heavily left upon
your shoulders for
I have grown weary
but with a strength
of sureness.

You want what you
believe will not work,
soon enough though
it will not be your choice
anymore. I have loved
you half of my lifetime,
cried tears for what
you leave so easily
behind.

I am now living in my
mind of moving on,I
wish for you to place
all bets now or leave
well enough alone. Best
friends no matter what
choices are made but with
only friendship other
tokens are to leave
the board of games.

I cried last night for
what I have always
begged, soon enough
my tears will dry to
never be spilled again.
My soulmate is so very
near,it is time to make
our lives what they shall
always be.

Unguarded hearts

My mind frequents the
story of old tales of
lost hope and demands
of a past life that has
so many times been put
to rest.

Feverish body waits
patiently for the kisses
of pleasurable release
and fulfillment.Anger
bares no mercy when
thoughts of games
played comes to mind.

Weakness always finds
me in the dark waiting
sorrowfully for my
strength to be found
once again in words
of empowerment and a
see through heart.

A Blanket covers me
slowly as I feel the
lullaby of sweet kisses
tickling my heaving
breast leaving fiery
heat along the path
to success.

My dreams are filled
with desires that are
made to wait for his
fierce touches that
only my body will
forever crave and
savor.

I am left unguarded
as I allow my heart
to swallow in his
presence and eager
words once again.

Traces of acceptance

It is apparent that
the stars and moon
believes in everlasting
love and hope.Tears
dry abroad the shoulders
of right and truth.

Walking hand in hand
in minds peace,flesh
apart but for memories.
Feeling the pain of
another in silent words
of acceptance and release.

Wounds to heal torn and
shattered traces of lost
time spent fighting inner
demons at play.Angels grace
found among the fallen
wings of nothing-less
perfections.

Sparks of fire burning
the soul until love can
gracefully tread where
belonged from the beginning.
Fears put on hold with
just the fraction of
moments spared.

Smile to tickle the lips
of the lost,with the
found.Light footsteps
taken when the do not
enter sign has been
pushed aside.Love to
find no boundaries
when felt through
and through.

Traces of breaking
found when the mind
can no longer deny
what is always there.
What hides behind the
fallen tears that
invisibly trickle
down the cheeks of
those in despair.

For a bullies sake

Indestructible inability
to see straight in the needs
that have to be compressed
into the day ahead,falling
short of the strength that
is needed to guide me onto
the path that needs to be
walked.

Devil in his cruelest deed
taking nothing less but all
of me.Deceived minds play
havoc to life's beauty,
uncertainty spare's no
innocent lives in the
tormented days of fallen
hopes and dreams.

Success fails one in
a mind that believes
grievance has taken
hold of what shadows
the deepest of perplexed
feelings and heartfelt
cries of fear and doom.
Walking the halls of
hell as the fire consumes
bodily flesh with the
words of unknowing
laughter.

Complications are to
follow when happiness
is lost among the words
of hate and greed that
folly from the mouths
of those who just don't
see what is laid to rest
with what seems nothing
but a game of chess to
be won when tears are
to fall silently.

Empowerment to be found
in the pain of another.
Smiles to find the faces
of those to naive to see
the invisible scars that
are left behind with the
words of deceit and stupidity.
Another soul to be lost
in the world of love and
hate,no where for some
to escape but within
their own minds of
frustration and wishes
of death to take.

Time bomb

Camouflage grenades
explode behind my
heart telling me
that the time has
come to wipe the
wounds clean and
find the battlefield
clear of war and
useless battles
never won.

Opening of eyes tell
me that love comes
swiftly in and out
of my life just to
stop me from living
and breathing for
another second of
hopes and dreams
that disappear in
the gloom of nightfall
where nightmares and
lonesomeness are to
always be found.

Refusal of selfish
hearts and souls
calm my mind just
for a moment before
I see in the rear view
mirror of time that
this is a place of
well traveled roads
that never led to the
destination of home.

Blinded by spots of
curves the night
consumes me and leads
me to more sands of
swallowed pride that
only I must live in
waiting for the rope
to find it's place in
my grasp again to lift
me from.

Fallen for the devils
sweet words of lost
time I see heaven for
what it must be. A
picture of perfect
that will trick the
eye of the heart.Time
stands still lost in
sought-en out things
that fall just shy of
apart.

Meaningful things to
only myself,I bring
on my own pain of hell
searching for what
should find me.Losing
myself in the world
of forgotten I find my
own truth in tears shed.

Walking back to hands
of the ill just to
lead me once again
astray from deeper
caresses of thrill
that only the song
of true can solve
and spill into my
ears of wanting.I
betray myself with
wishes that fall on
a broken star,shines
just bright enough
but yet to far to
hear my plea.

A glistening of
never hits me off
guard in the waking
of time like a bomb
that finally found
it's mark.Wounds
re-opened leak the
feelings of past
deaths as I now
alone walk the dark.

Delusional foundations

It is in delusion that
life scatters new foundations
among the roads of less
traveled sparing the holes
that we are so easily ready
to sink upon destroying the
layers of protection that
took hardships to reattach
and fill in the dangerous
thoughts of yesterdays
soft melodies.

The promise of fruition
of a sweeter taste is
compromised and compressed
in my mind of knowing
better and fighting for
losing battles that I shall
never have the strength
to win or follow through
with as the dawn swallows
the night again leaving me
in the standstills of
yesterdays scars.

Poisoned spear reaches
already weakened body
of despair in the center
of what is in and out but
never found fair among the
minds of compared.Black
death of living in the
dark but being made to walk
the steps of the unbearable
seizes the light of the sun.

Driftwood stops the river
of pain just for a second
of a lifetime. Immortality
seems reachable and surprisingly
delicious even if just in
the thoughts of glory that
shall never come to pass.
Fringes of cloth unfold in
one desperate move of regrettable
satisfaction.Left alone
among the non-existing life
of told you so's in a hollow
of cold and played out games.

Walking away knowing in which
demons I play as I take another
piece from the board of life's
ever learning prospects of
loses and tears.Weak enough
to know better,strong enough
to want it anyway no matter
what comes to pass in the
lives of the doomed and
encouraging ghost that are
forever to shadow the walls
of needs.

Another lesson taught in
the salt of water dropped.
Another moment of perfection
that lingers wholesomely
in my heart of knots that
will just for another second
be forgotten on the spot.
Another smile that screams
it's frustrations inwardly
as it plays games of yesterday.

A thousand deaths

I find myself suffering
a thousand deaths that
so easily faces me once
again everyday that words
are not replaced by the
pen of an angels lips.

We tell stories that only
we can understand,missing
words found easily that
never need mentioned.Proper
just in the heart and soul
of the lost and remembered.

My thoughts swept away with
your memory!My mind a haven
for the feelings of a once
perfect feeling of combined
bodies and souls.Hearts never
left in the dark as they knew
the others inside and out.

In blissful harmony we danced
to lost loves and what could
of been with another but yet
safely in each others arms we
could ponder for we had no
rules to abide by and a better
understanding of what life at
one time held for us in our
broken hearts of loss.

I am spellbound to live in
this place that I know will
only bring unneeded heartbreak
as it always has but here I
am to stay forever lost in
your beautiful memory taking
chances that I know is no use
because fear riddles the mind
of the confused.

Songs of yesterday play loudly
within the crevices of my mind.
I fear and I want to run but
there is no head start when
you are left to tare away the
biggest part of your heart.I
stand still and find my strength
as life yet gives me another
dagger through my heart but
the seepage of lost feelings
bare no holds when life in you
is all the gives me a whole.

It is not fair and it is not
right to stray my mind back
into those unforgettable nights
but in your memory I am to never
win.The only thing that keeps
me breathing is the thought of
never with you being.

Masquerades

Masquerades of fallen
faces prance the room
of make believe.Slow
wanderer in and out of
the circles looking and
seeking the perfect
mask that soon vanishes
behind the person who
wishes to be seen.

Soulful imperfections
of what is to be found
underneath is shockingly
nothing less than intoxicating
beauty just as they are.
Hoops to jump have lowered
their standards and easily
understood and crossed
with just a breathtaking
moment of surprise and
wanting.

Reformed to be all that
is wanted and never caring
of what may be expected
or returned.Just two
beings left to yearn,
understanding life and
all the lessons soon to
be learned throughout
lost days of depression.

Mysterious reflections
search for shadows where
none hides for just a
lovely fraction of what
we so deem to call life.
Heaven so easily to see
and feel in the arms of
securities long ago
devoured upon the crossings
of tormented bridges
frowned upon.

Blessings of the mask
are created to cover
untruths that I wish
to hold as my own until
revived by the life that
one day may hold and
command my throne of
insecurities,which I so
desperately wish to
sink in the ocean of
new beginnings.

Forcefully I am for
now to swallow the
sour scent of living
without a soul to
carve into another's
as I breathe in my
hopeless happiness.
I work toward my own
failures,finding
myself lost in a
room full of masquerade.

Teasingly I search
for the mask that
one day will complete
me!

Puzzle pieces

Oblivious to living
as nights go slowly
by. Searching for the
answers that will never
be found. Wanting life
to step away just for
a moment as perspective's
are found.

Screaming,stomping
feet as you plead!
What is next?what
lies in the horizon?
Does life go on?Is
there another half?
One not seen before
now!

Aggravation takes
hold as conflicts
resides in the pit
of my stomach,I hate
myself for what I
desire the most.

I try to convince
myself I do not want
what I need.I tell
myself love is all
I crave even though
I know I am not in
love with who I stay.

Why walk down tracks
that are not meant to
be threaded upon?Why
suffer through heartache
of the missing pieces,
when across the room
is the one you shall
always seek!

Soulful lies

In the fraction of
just a moment lives
change and become
nothing more but
lost treasures never
to be found again.

The sun still rises
finding dawn once
again,cars still
drive by as if the
world still goes on
like it has always
done.

You drawl in air and
feel it fill your
lungs and you know
that you live but
lost is the feeling
of life as it once
was and should of
always been.

The moon finds me
lost in my moments
of failures and
takes me to a place
that I forever want
to leave,but yet I
am made to still
gulp in the air that
I wish would leave
me be in peace.

I taste the salt that
finds my lips with the
tears that I have held
in through the day.I have
once again found the
goal that I always give
myself in the mornings,
smile,laugh,push the
sparkle into my eyes,
spare my soul and lie.

The hidden mask

There is this hollow
cave that engulfs me
within myself. I fill
my voids that is fulled
with someone I can
never truly be a part
of.

I stagger through my
days wondering when
the fall will come
and leave me tattered
and bruised,from
inside out.A mark
on my being that I
know does not belong,
yet has to be.

Like the wind I get
blown away just from
the mere pleasure of
a filling that will
never be my complete
feelings.I speak a
thousand words but
yet I wonder am I
really ever heard,
does he even know
who I am?

I am sure that the
possibly of him ever
knowing who hides
deep within my soul
is just a dream that
shall never come true,
for I would know that
feeling and it has
not came to pass as
of yet and deep within
that is what I want.

Leave me to the dark
to bid my memories
hello,even in them
I am always to feel
so much more.I know
what I need and I know
what I yet do not
feel,but yet I find
my mask and place it
where it shall for
now and always stay,
upon my heart and
face.

Burnt bridges

Walking the shadow of
misunderstanding's
alone I suffer a
million words of
hopeless tomorrows.

I find I am lost
in between a dark
shadow of tormented
feelings and knowing
what I really need.

I cannot love and
be lost at the very
same time.I can burn
the bridges and sweep
away the ash but yet
I am always willing
to take the long way
and make the climb
that will get me to
the other side.

Heart flutters at
the mere thought of
such passion and truth
that at one time I
found,I look down at
shuffling feet and
wish to make the step
that may be the death
of me.

I twirl the ring on
my finger with restless
thoughts of lost.I twirl
it around and around
wondering is this my
final stop.Do I leap
or do I or give it back
to he?

Convinced I am doing
what needs to be done
my stomach knots up
telling me to run.
Steadfast are my feet,
my shuffle is one only
I can see!

My heart does not any
longer belong to me,it
has not for what seems
like an eternity.Why
do I keep a ring upon
my finger when I know
I wish it to belong to
another?

Burn the bridge and
move forward,keeping
rope beside me for one
day I will find the
strength to make the
climb that all knows
only belongs to me!

Suppressed infinity

Awkwardly silent inside
of my own thoughts
I scream
I search
I feel

awkwardly silent within myself
I suppress

I forfeit my air teasingly
just for a moment
just for a second
do I still exist?
do I still breathe the air given to me?

I let the air out from between my lips

I lay still keeping my soul bonded
forcefully not allowing it to leave from within
halting it to stay steadfast
it lays in waiting
to take flight
it escapes at night
while I sleep it finds me
without control
it leaves

On my knees I hold in life
the pit of my stomach tightens
I feel it ball into knots
it searches for release
it finds nothing

In the quickening of the night
my mind plays silently
searching for infinity
I find nothing