Deserving tokens

Thoughts of the

mind play dusty

records of timeless

dreams,given pardon

among better things.

Perched high stands

freewill,only the

strong finds endless

fulfillment and 

completion upon

realizations that

life gives us what

is deserved.

Fights preserved 

for winning games,

energy saved until

life shows the way.

Dirt road paving

the way to beauty

and grace.

Whistling wind

chills the skin!Sun

finds the light

reflecting dimly

through a window

of grim.

Sealed tight never

to be opened,a life

of freedom in the 

safe words of spoken.

Pocket no longer

full of tokens!

   

  

Traces of acceptance

It is apparent that
the stars and moon
believes in everlasting
love and hope.Tears
dry abroad the shoulders
of right and truth.

Walking hand in hand
in minds peace,flesh
apart but for memories.
Feeling the pain of
another in silent words
of acceptance and release.

Wounds to heal torn and
shattered traces of lost
time spent fighting inner
demons at play.Angels grace
found among the fallen
wings of nothing-less
perfections.

Sparks of fire burning
the soul until love can
gracefully tread where
belonged from the beginning.
Fears put on hold with
just the fraction of
moments spared.

Smile to tickle the lips
of the lost,with the
found.Light footsteps
taken when the do not
enter sign has been
pushed aside.Love to
find no boundaries
when felt through
and through.

Traces of breaking
found when the mind
can no longer deny
what is always there.
What hides behind the
fallen tears that
invisibly trickle
down the cheeks of
those in despair.

Silent stories

I love you more than
life itself, the scent
from your presence is
like the air that needs
to be inhaled to exist
in this life that some
think is a game of lost
and found.

The creases on your
face tells a thousand
stories that need to be
heard from lips to the
ears of the only one
who really ever cared.

I tell myself this is
not going to get me down
as I am enlightened to
enjoy what is brought
forward even if just for
another second in the day.

I warn my heart to stop
the pitter patter it so
loudly speaks knowing so
easily it will be taken
away from me.I am smart
enough to tell myself no
but to weak to listen up
close.

I love you more than any
written word could explain,
in my mind though I know
you understand as you walk
the thoughts that only you
can hear.I ponder away my
degrees of fear and walk
where I am needed even if
just for a moment in lost
time.

Burnt bridges

Walking the shadow of
misunderstanding's
alone I suffer a
million words of
hopeless tomorrows.

I find I am lost
in between a dark
shadow of tormented
feelings and knowing
what I really need.

I cannot love and
be lost at the very
same time.I can burn
the bridges and sweep
away the ash but yet
I am always willing
to take the long way
and make the climb
that will get me to
the other side.

Heart flutters at
the mere thought of
such passion and truth
that at one time I
found,I look down at
shuffling feet and
wish to make the step
that may be the death
of me.

I twirl the ring on
my finger with restless
thoughts of lost.I twirl
it around and around
wondering is this my
final stop.Do I leap
or do I or give it back
to he?

Convinced I am doing
what needs to be done
my stomach knots up
telling me to run.
Steadfast are my feet,
my shuffle is one only
I can see!

My heart does not any
longer belong to me,it
has not for what seems
like an eternity.Why
do I keep a ring upon
my finger when I know
I wish it to belong to
another?

Burn the bridge and
move forward,keeping
rope beside me for one
day I will find the
strength to make the
climb that all knows
only belongs to me!

Suppressed infinity

Awkwardly silent inside
of my own thoughts
I scream
I search
I feel

awkwardly silent within myself
I suppress

I forfeit my air teasingly
just for a moment
just for a second
do I still exist?
do I still breathe the air given to me?

I let the air out from between my lips

I lay still keeping my soul bonded
forcefully not allowing it to leave from within
halting it to stay steadfast
it lays in waiting
to take flight
it escapes at night
while I sleep it finds me
without control
it leaves

On my knees I hold in life
the pit of my stomach tightens
I feel it ball into knots
it searches for release
it finds nothing

In the quickening of the night
my mind plays silently
searching for infinity
I find nothing

Hearts of faith

Wrap me softly in
the words of your
hearts whisper.Tell
me things through
your soul that only
I can hear.

Shoulder me against
your body,touch my
mind through the
thoughts that we
can hear without
the voice of our
words.

Plummet all of my
fears into the
earths ground,like
snow to melt never
to be found again.

My breath intakes
as I feel your pulse
race in anticipation
for our tomorrows,our
yesterdays erased
and forgotten and
to always be left
now in the dark.

I hear you speak a
million things in
your silence,in the
pit of my stomach
I feel your wants
and observations
of the dreams that
are never to be left
behind.I hear you
mind and dance your
song of trusting
hope.

I grasp my heart now
and run into arms of
the forgiving,my heart
now to race as I
find my own way back
into my yesterdays of
faith.

Mythical men

Two men,different sides
of the world,one fights
with his words the other
with his sword.

A grievance has taken
them both to the other
side,one in his mind
the other in the dark.

Lay down laws of what
is to be believed,one
God or many! In both
minds the other is
right but yet so wrong
they both are.

Find peace in the hero
they are perceived to
be,find sanctum where
many just wish to find
themselves in relief.

Swords in battle to
make a name,find glory
with the insane but
yet remembered for all
that he done,laying down
bodies in severe pain
and doom.

Another uses his words
to get through to the
ears of all,believes in
his God when many believe
there are many.

Lay down his life,give his
freedom for the beliefs
that we easily can live
in.Another not finding
peace until the very end.

Both are hero's in their
own right but yet I treasure
the one from the other
side who stood up and
found glory in his words
never to drawl blood from
those who refused to be
heard.

The stories of the myths
run along my mind,I look
into my own mirror and
look for my own words of
peace.I find the swords
may be easier than the
words that sometimes
are lost to me.

Forever blue

I sit and deny the words
brought to my attention
about my life and love
before now,I argue in my
own defense that I have
grown and moved on away
from the past that stroked
its wounds into my heart
like a knife finding its
way and leaving its mark.

I am ready to find my
way out of the dark,I
am ready to be a part
of the life in which you
wish to give me but
yet you do not believe
the words that from
my mouth are to leave.

I ask myself what could
it be that he sees,why can
he not believe what I am
to tell him.I think of the
drawer in which your
picture lays softly among
the shirt that matches
your eyes the shade of
the sky, I still deny.

I hold him tight and
feel the security that
his being brings me
inside and out but yet
there it is the thought
that he is holding back,
but why? His arms
wrapped tightly around
me but still the tears
fall smoothly down
my cheeks,I need room
to breathe.

I am lost and will never
be found for the person
I once was has been left
astray among memories
that I try to push aside,
but still I deny!

I lay in the bed and
remember everything
through the day that
we have said,the hearts
that we shared and I feel
me wanting to be completely
there but yet I drift away
into my own hiding place.
There I am left to cry
for my younger days.

But yet I deny that what
he says is true,sadly he
is right,I am always to
see you!Forever and
always my mind is to
be tortured among the
past, tonight I am to
sleep again in the shirt
that I should of long
ago thrown in the trash!

Jaded complications

Life could be more
than the one sided
jaded insufferable
people who think
they need nothing
more put complications
where known shall
follow.

Peace comes hauntingly
my way with the
spoken word of
just maybe,drives
me crazy as I dizzily
try to put together
the pieces that make
no sense to me,Words
no longer take that
same route as once
before, dissecting
everything and for
what,where does it end
and what does it mean
to sit everlasting in one
spot for all to see the
demons that so easily
can take over me.

I ignore what my eyes
see,words of nothing
but deceit could ever
be spoken freely to me
even though I wish to
believe in what I know
could never be.In me
I see a foe that wishes
to wander away but is
always steadfast where
my legs are to tremble
knowingly.

Stubborn fates are
nothing now more
than stupidity playing
stupid games of catch
me if you can,take apart
just one more hand.
That is the way of man!

Come to me soft words
of feelings as you watch
me believe in everything
told,You think I am weak
but yet I am merely me
with heart and soul but
now just a touch of bold.
I walk where I wish and
take the roads swiftly to
hell,you lead me so you
believe; but in front will
be me!

Check those notes and
check those bills,do what
needs to be done to find
your own thrills.Just do
me this one favor,when
the sun sets the sky aflame
there will be only one left
in the blaming game of
tearful words that lead to
nothing but pain,this will
not be me you will see
I am stronger now than
any could ever believe.

My life belongs to only
me!!

Bidden goodbyes

The burden of losing the
only thing that feels
right has consumed and
changed every thoughtless
thought within my mind.

There are facts that
cannot be argued or
understood! Life for
what you see can only
drive more questions
out to sea that will
never be caught by
the nets of time.

Life stands still
for just a moment
in my mind dreaming
and remembering past
words and many tears
cried throughout
the endless nights
shared among the two
that felt so right.

Time passes and new
love comes into the
picture but none fits
the reflection that
once was given.No one
will ever read my mind
or complete my heart
the way that my true
love could but that
is neither here or
there,life must go
on and in my lungs I
breathe new air.

I am on a mission to
search for my lost
time among the demons
of hell that I have
always easily found,
it is time to bury
them deep into the
ground my life is at
a standstill and now
even words can no
longer heal the pain
in which I have always
at other hands sustained.

So I bid this last
goodbye of my life's
past miseries and for
the first time in a
long time write my
words that will drive
me insane and driven
to my knees.

I will come back
stronger and the
word no will not
be heard by my ears
for I will be complete
soulfully and out of
my lingering fears.

Forbidden fruit

Like a trigger that
exploded with a thought
from my mind I take it
farther than what I
even intended.

I cannot be defined
or walk on another's
shirttail,I am myself
and have come to terms
with who hides in the
crevasses of my own
tortured mind!

I do not expect you
or anyone else to take
me as I am for I do
not care any longer to
hide behind the falsities
of any mankind.

I seek what I wish to
find and by my own hand
I will learn the lessons
that may be forbiddingly
betrayed.I walk on my own
grounded trails of mysteries
and find with my own eyes
what only I can see or even
understand.

I have watched as others
give up and let themselves
be devastated by another's
useless mind,they throw down
their dreams until even themselves
they can no longer find.

They are buried deep within
the barriers of the blinded,
they worry they will never
be seen for what they consider
in themselves to be free and
worthy.

I have taken a step forward
and I am ready to say take
me as I am for tomorrow it
may be my dreams will come
true because I have finally
excepted the reflection
that stares back at me.

I no longer care about what
you think you may see! I am
destined to be all that only
I can be, forbidden fruit?
Well maybe!

Conspiracy reflections

I search for peace
where confliction
resides,entranced
in my own world
of insufferable
pain I seek meditation
in my thoughtless
thoughts that haunt
me constantly.

I aim my frustrations
toward my inner being,
beckoning myself to move
past what cannot be
changed and into what
can although be once
again rearranged.

I feel like I am being
tormented by my own
reflection that even
I cannot see in my
mirror of pain any
longer.I look into
my past and wish for
it to be my future.

I walk forward in
backward steps wondering
why I have seen this
road before in my
dreams of failed mishaps.
I take a pen to paper
and hold it steadily
in place but no words
seem to find their fate
or escape.

I am lost on these
tracks leading to
no where!My dignity
has become harder
everyday to be proud
of or even shared.

I am doomed to the person
that I no longer wish
to be,in the mirror my
reflection becomes my
own made conspiracy!

A battle within

I don't know who
I am or what I am
here for anymore.

On my own mind I
play tug a war and
search for answers
that will never be
told,I feel cold and
weak,desperately
on my knees.

I tell myself that
things are meant
to be how they are
laid upon our feet.
I am lost,a standstill
is where I seem to
be left.I am scared
of nothing except
myself.

I dream big of
what may be in
the horizon waiting
for me to fulfill but
here I endlessly sit
still.Scared to take
the risk of failing
or taking missed
steps.

My life seems to
be full of regrets
of what I could of
missed in my own
fears of what is,was,
could of been if I
had not been so blinded
to my own dreams
of miseries.

I will wake up next
weak and fly so high
my feet will never touch
the ground.Nothing
will get me down or
scare me back into
the dark, this I say
to myself every time!

No more worries,no
more fear,I can do
anything that I want
without the first tear!
I will smile and bid
away all negatives
that try to find their
way into my mind
and heart.

This will only last
as long as my mind
stays away from the
dark but as always
my life in my own
mind is waiting to
once again be torn
apart.

I love everyone and
only wish their best,
I tell them that life
is worth the live and
how much in them
I believe.I will take
them by their hand
and try to show them
their way but in my
shell I live afraid.This
is the life of manic
depression, this is
the life that I am bid
to live in.

So until I find my
own way back out
of the dark I will
play my part.I will
find the positives
that I see in my dear
friends,I will tell them
never to give up or
bend.I will tell you
to dance in the light
where dark may only
be found.

I am broke and
may never be fixed
I walk the line in
a manics wish to
feel free of the
negatives that
only I can see.
This is not a game
that any wish to
play,this is a depression
that won't stay
away.Day by day
I search for my
own way and
tomorrow it will
all once again
just be okay!

Described in colors

Who plays in the games of
right and wrong?

Who has the authority to
decide who's blood is worth
the seepage that runs deep
within the ground?

Is it you?
Is it me?

What gives anyone the right
to decide if a human being
is worthy too live free from
fear and hate?

The great escape back into your
Mind, back into a time that was
full of pitiful murders who rationalizes
the reasons that they have the
right to spill the blood that
they did not provide.

Men who believe they preserve
the right to bluntly say who
has a heart and soul,disgraceful
boys all the same to me with
no brains or boundaries.

A child at play in hate and war,
turning their eyes to all the
blood that runs red just the same
as if it was their own to pour.

Discrimination like poison spews
from their mouths,hate they believe
the lord wants then to shout out.
Silly little people with their silly
little thoughts,I take relief that
this does not describe us all,,

There are good and there are bad
among the world no color or nationality
as a whole should take the fall as the
only ones who ever does wrong!

Who decides who is right?
Who decides who is wrong?

It really does not matter to me
I only know I have a heart and
being color blind best describes
me!!

A poets mind

I write what I feel and sometimes it
may not be all that appeals.My heart
has been broken, my life is in shambles,
at this time this is what I feel and that
is what I will reveal.

Others times my life is like a beautiful
rose just opening up for the first time,
the sunlight making it glitter with the
perfect colors. A calmness taking over
my heart, in my words you can tell the
two apart.

I write about my lifes heartaches, happy
days that no one can take away. Feelings
that just jump out at me, my words are
written depending on my feelings.

I express my feelings in a different way,
my heart knows all the words that my
mouth cannot say. My writtings brings to
light all the words I cannot say, the feelings
I so often hide and tuck away.

I am a poet, I am a loner! I am the person
no one will ever really know. If you listen
just quitely reading the words put in front
of thee..then you will know the real me.

Far away friends

Trumpets play as the sun sets, beautiful colors lighting up the sky. People dance and people cry for the beauty is more than meets the eye. All kinds have gathered in one place, no one caring of the others race, sharing words from each others hearts,,loving all that we truly are. Understanding we all are the same, no matter how far away we may be. Hearing so much on the news, not understanding why so many feuds. We walk this earth torn apart, by other mans greed and hardened hearts.

To be united would be a blessing, for everyone to just stop all the fussing. My friends are worth so much more than fought-en over oil. To fight over something so cold and black not worrying of the hot red blood that is spilled. My heart cries out for so many lost in this war, and look to my far away friends as my heart cries out feeling torn. So to my far away friends no this to be true you have a true friend with a heart that is full of love for you. I know in our hearts we all are the same, no one better and each other not to blame....

Relentless words

Words seem to always be on my mind,
an relentless hold on me until it is released
into a perfect rhyme or something else to
my divine...thoughts racing through my head
never to let me rest! My dreams are overtaken
by the things I wish to write, for some reason
not coming together when I turn on my light.
A frustration takes me away, what were the
words I wanted to say? Hours on end wanting
to shut off my thoughts, swirling around my head,
won't my mind ever stop? Thoughts racing around
my mind, what shall I write about this time? Thoughts
as always never to stop, it is once again time to grab
a pen and start to jot..

Caresses of undying love

May her guardian angel caress her brow with 

the tender touch of her undying love that will

uplift her soul in rejoice for the life that was 

spared at the end of her darkend tunnel.

May her spirit guild bring her peace in her 

heart for the battles that are to come with her

long road home to us and the lord kiss her hand 

with his healing powers that only he can give.

May her family be her backbone that only they can 

give with this new life she is to live.

Special indeed

You look at me and what do you see?
I am special yes I am indeed.....

As you see me being wheeled on by,
I can sometimes feel the tears you
want to cry!

You think me weak and feel sorry for
me,but I am stronger than most will
ever be!

I see this world with different eyes,
ones that cannot see hate or despise.

So when you see me being wheeled
on by look at my smile I never hide...

So yes I am special indeed, and I will
never want to be anyone else but me.