Blissfully blind

Forfeited is the time
of hands within the
eyes of blinded man.
Seen all but not enough
through the doorway
of hell.

Left alone dreams
scurry under stilled
feet. Out to dry is
the common cry
when heard upon
ears of a lonesome
pleads.

Been there,done that
means nothing when
placed by the grace
of a presence shared
eternally.

Belonging never an
obstacle,fright plays
a devilish game when
spotted through shaking
hands.

Dept's to never be
paid in full when
thought through the
mind of a fool in
self blame escapade.

Sit and watch as
the time goes by,
never to feel the
perfection of a
soul to soar and
rise.Another drink
past quivering
lips prove all is
not in the name
of heartfelt bliss.

Obedient anticipation

Prolonged pain suffers
at the hands of the given.
Steps backwards prove
the ending is soon to
come from within.

Strokes of ease help
erase mindful traces
of hate and departure
upon past memories
of long ago follies.

Tormented stares
show meanings to
all. Bound to hide
behind see through
cloth for eternity.

Tremors shudder
hands of faith lost
against timeless fate.
Obedient heart stills
under pressure when
faced with thrill.

Finds strength to
force fears aside,
forever to live with
decisions decided.
Abide by wishes
not agreed upon,
grateful that time
has finally found
my palm.

Traces of brief
light returns in
sweet harmony,
weary enough to
ignore maybe.
Smile reaches
shivering lip in
anticipation of
what if.

Prolonged pain
suffers only at
the hands of the
allowed.Backward
steps prove goodbye
is soon to come
in the tears of a
quivering smile.

Deserving tokens

Thoughts of the

mind play dusty

records of timeless

dreams,given pardon

among better things.

Perched high stands

freewill,only the

strong finds endless

fulfillment and 

completion upon

realizations that

life gives us what

is deserved.

Fights preserved 

for winning games,

energy saved until

life shows the way.

Dirt road paving

the way to beauty

and grace.

Whistling wind

chills the skin!Sun

finds the light

reflecting dimly

through a window

of grim.

Sealed tight never

to be opened,a life

of freedom in the 

safe words of spoken.

Pocket no longer

full of tokens!

   

  

Borrowed time

Never guaranteed are
the tracks under our
feet. Here today gone
tomorrow, lost time
can never be borrowed.

In and out has been
our best, time reflections
shows the rest. Sorrowfully
single image walks
away, given time no
longer stays.

Surrendered sparrow
soars mountain tops,
fallen tears never
forgotten against the
pain of yesterday.

Foolish heart finds
peace with unmade
decisions it never
reaped the endless
possibilities.

Heaven finds hell
in the circumstances
of tomorrow. Borrowed
time finds us today,
live it now or tomorrow
it may never be.

Successfully lost

Success finds me
slowly as I take
time out to find
my soul lost upon
the horizon.

Like Apollo I am
smitten for what
my heart desires
and no one else.
I wait out the
hourglass as the
sand slowly trickles
by making way for
new life to quietly
be replenished.

I take a bow as
now it can no
longer be denied,
my life belongs
to the one who
carries my other
side.

My missing beats
find me where they
have always been
lost.A doorway
opens my mind
with endearing
thoughts of what
I know is to
always follow.

Yesterdays lullaby

I cried last night for you
as I have so often done
time and time again. I
thought of our lovemaking
wrapped in each others
arms where safety has
always been found and
realized that just a little
in my memory my love
has finally dwindled to
an degree of uncertainty.

Steadfast I have held
You to my heart for
Years now gone by.
Never in my mind was
I to believe that goodbye
would be easily told to
my better half,for some
reason I feel it now.

I cried for what we have
together,the secrets
we so feverishly love
to share.Dreams of
days yet to come our
way but yet I feel the
ending slowly making
way to my heart.

I find our friendship
has blossomed to
it's fullest like it
has never been before,
we laugh freely at
each other like
children at play.
silly jokes are told
all hours of the night,
hardships are felt
in our plight.

I cried last night for
what I am losing, this
time by my own mind
of confusion. I feel
you where you have
always been, in my
heart and soul and
my very best friend.

I wonder why the tears
are now falling when
things seen so perfectly
different, wonderment
fills my thoughts of what
it could be. Maybe We are
like a game in overtime,
maybe there has just
been to much pain and
I am now to fall blind.

I cried last night in
thoughts of us, left
apart from my heart
I thrash. I want what
you keep at arms
length but not as
I done in other games.

I am prepared to lose
as always,but not
expecting the same
pain. It is apparent
now that the choice
is heavily left upon
your shoulders for
I have grown weary
but with a strength
of sureness.

You want what you
believe will not work,
soon enough though
it will not be your choice
anymore. I have loved
you half of my lifetime,
cried tears for what
you leave so easily
behind.

I am now living in my
mind of moving on,I
wish for you to place
all bets now or leave
well enough alone. Best
friends no matter what
choices are made but with
only friendship other
tokens are to leave
the board of games.

I cried last night for
what I have always
begged, soon enough
my tears will dry to
never be spilled again.
My soulmate is so very
near,it is time to make
our lives what they shall
always be.

Hidden haunts

His ghost haunts me
in the flesh of the
driven. I am left to
wait for the night
to fall to see what
has me seeking the
death that will again
become me.

A token to sound
telling me I am in
the thoughts of the
only one that means
I will breathe once
again safely in my
restless sleep of
hidden nightmares.

I sit and see that
I have been laughed
upon again while in
the arms of what my
heart cannot stop re-
living.I am a fool who
needs to be carried
away to the heavens
above,keep safely the
heart that has learned
enough is enough.

Meet me where dreams come true

Meet me where the stars
fall upon the ground in
a shattering of blissful
energy,an earth-quaking
of life felt against the
force of the invisible
bodies of soul bound
lovers.

Meet me where the moon
tells us the story of
life where treasures
are to be found among
the living creatures
that sing their song
of grace and perfections
of the night.

Meet me where the sun
finds its way back
into the sky after it
has slept its weariness
away from the days
before,shining through
the branches of the
trees its heat can be
felt blissfully upon
our bodies.

Meet me where the ocean
sprays salt to our faces
to cover the tears of
loneliness that controls
the unknowns of tomorrow.
Crashing waves can be
heard hitting the rocks
of long ago creations of
God,beholding our spirits
for just a second telling
us where in life we belong.

Meet me where dreams
can always come true,
meet me in the arms
of you.Melt my body
to perfection in the
sound of your voice
and eagerness.

Meet me where love is
never missed,a kiss
to my lips to prove
this.On trembling
knees I beg,meet me
where the beginning
one day will end.

Pressure points

I feel the poison running

through my veins that

long to be split open

burning my skin of

nothing until the smell

of burning flesh takes

my breath away.

My gut is tight like a 

noose that wishes for

the neck of darkness

to grasp and never let

go,strangling out any 

life that lingers in one 

place for to long. 

Nightmares are forever

playing havoc with my 

mind that wants to so

badly see nothing more

but the other side,no

more turmoil to drown

out the silence of the

nights dreaming in 

worthless memories.

Body crawls and itches 

from nerves that are

fried out into a lightly

sounding sizzle of done.

In the mirror my reflection

equals none!Nails leave

marks upon my hands,

the pain I can no longer

feel!

Walls cover the openings

of the doors that I no

longer wish to pass 

through.Life has given 

me in stone a life I cannot 

stand to live in,too late

to change what has been

written.

In my mind I scream 

until my body loses 

all control and my

head feels like it

wants to explode 

from the pressure

of the forever reasons

left untold.

Some has heart,some

does not!Some leaves

all to forever in their

minds burn and rot.

I see a token that only

I can spend,finding a

reason to go on has

never been worth the

giving!

Bidden goodbyes

The burden of losing the
only thing that feels
right has consumed and
changed every thoughtless
thought within my mind.

There are facts that
cannot be argued or
understood! Life for
what you see can only
drive more questions
out to sea that will
never be caught by
the nets of time.

Life stands still
for just a moment
in my mind dreaming
and remembering past
words and many tears
cried throughout
the endless nights
shared among the two
that felt so right.

Time passes and new
love comes into the
picture but none fits
the reflection that
once was given.No one
will ever read my mind
or complete my heart
the way that my true
love could but that
is neither here or
there,life must go
on and in my lungs I
breathe new air.

I am on a mission to
search for my lost
time among the demons
of hell that I have
always easily found,
it is time to bury
them deep into the
ground my life is at
a standstill and now
even words can no
longer heal the pain
in which I have always
at other hands sustained.

So I bid this last
goodbye of my life's
past miseries and for
the first time in a
long time write my
words that will drive
me insane and driven
to my knees.

I will come back
stronger and the
word no will not
be heard by my ears
for I will be complete
soulfully and out of
my lingering fears.

No goodbyes ( Bathsheba Dailey and Poet Shi )

How do I get over
you, can't stand being
away from you.

You left with no goodbye,
only a instant message
for a reply.

Didn't understand why,
until I saw you with other
guy.

My heart hit the floor !!

I couldn't believe, you
didn't love me anymore.

Only used for your gain,
left me drowning here in
pain.

Wondering, if I'll ever be
the same.

What goes around,
comes back around..

One day you'll see,
when you end up hurt
like me.

The truth can be
seen by my eyes
only and it was
your love that
scared me away
for the pain of
losing another
love I could not
chance again.

My senses were
driven by your
embraces and
sweet words of
forever affections.

I know the heartbreak
that love can bring
so easily,it was
nothing against
you it was solely
myself in my own
hidden fears of
goodbye tears.

You question my
love for you and
think I played
you're heart but
I have been there
also,left in the
dark to wipe away
the tears of a lost
love.

I am merely doing
what I have learned
to do best,hide my
heart away from
anyone I fear to
trust.

One day I hope you
see I have been
hurt already one
too many times,I
will always run
and hide.My heart
disguised!

I shudder!

Knees shaking, hands
pouring sweat like it
is merely nothing more
than rain water from
the heavens. Heart
racing leaving behind
life and security I
run for what is the
life I have grown
so use to. I shudder!

Fear driven and in
complete awe of what
chases me from my
own memories of finer
days left behind. I
am entranced in what
follows me through
the dark,I can feel
a shadow as it chases
me into the forest.
I shudder!

I am in fear and my
legs have become my
weapon against what
could be the death
of me. I run faster
looking for protection,
looking for a shelter
to hide away in and
stay dry from the
storm that shouting
its greed upon the
earth now. Lightning
is giving away my
tracks as the thunder
now booms in my ears
as if laughing at my
fear. I shudder!

I can feel the shadow
no longer and stop to
rest as hunger has taken
over my body, berries
hide in the bushes as
I take mouth fulls in
my own greed for nourishment.
The juices have run
down my face as I wipe
it with the back of
my hand and look at
what could be the color
of blood. I shudder!

My senses are telling
me to run again and
faster than what I
had before. I am racing
against time to save
myself from what hides
in the darkened forest
of fearless creatures.
They stare me down and
wait to make their
move against my being,
they want me for their
own. I shudder!

I have ran until my
legs feel like they
are going to give in
under the pressure
of my fear. What
now is un-hidden
from my eyes? I try
to disguise myself
and hide in a hole
but now my fear has
only heightened
with anticipation
of the shadow that
follows me taking
all control. I shudder!

I run just for a
minute more before
finally I fall into
the muddied ground,
my hands are now soiled
with the storms
grievance against
the world. A puddle
of water sits before
my eyes like it has
not been touched by
the dirt it lays upon.
I shudder!

Thirstily I take my
hands and gulp water
into my now dry mouth.
I have given up the
chase and stay steadfast
where my body lays,the
fight has gone from me
and I am ready for any
grief or pain that may
lay ahead of me insanely.
I shudder!

I stare down at the water
that has now become my
savior and spot of peace.
A dead tree root is in
my eyes view and it seems
so peaceful even though
no life runs through it.
I am confused but yet
enlightened that this
root has taken my attention
away from the fears I
was just feeling. I
shudder!

Still looking into the
puddle of water I can
once again feel the shadow
behind me but I sit still
to tired to run any longer.
I take my chances and
breathe what I believe
could be the last breath
that falls from in between
my lips. I look into the
puddle again with head down
and eyes just slightly
looking at the reflection
that stands behind me now.
I see myself staring down
upon me,a battle from
within is who I was fighting
the whole time.I shudder!

Shameful pride

Everyone thinks they know
the whole story,never do
they reflect on what hides
beneath.

In between the lines of
another's life,they just
think they are right.they
believe they can do better,
their life has never been
one of long battles!

People live in their own
fairy tales believing we
all have walked their
tracks of life but that's
not right,for some life
has given them nothing
more but miseries and
heartaches,battles of
long ago stories that
are far from the whole
truth.

Most could not handle
what they think they
already know.They stand
tall and proud,secure
and driven into believing
they are the maiden to
everyone's grace,they
should try to walk in
another's place!

Walk in the shoes of a
life not worth living,
feel the pains of another's
grief maybe then they would
open their eyes and stop
their made up pride!Walk
the life of a battlefield
from day one!I am stronger
than most could believe but
even I need to find peace.

So I shake my head and
tip my hat to the ones
who think they are all that,
I know in my heart that
they are to weak to even
play half of my part!I see
the world for what pain
hides in the dark!I show
respect to those deserving,
I help when others have
only concern for their own.

So I will beg your pardon
as I move along to my un-perfect
garden that only I can
grow for you have taken
up enough of my time and
you will always stand with
your own shameful pride!

Eye to eye

I am taken!Not by hand,
not by name,not by anything
that another can see!

I am taken though
internally and my
heart and soul has
bled for all to see!
I sit shallow and
dream of nightmares
so long ago.I had
found my fairy tale
life that so easily
I could give my all
but out of my dreams
it left me like my
white horse down the
the road it went with
four doors.

My words I spread for
all to see with my
fingers the memory I
wish to erase stays
forever in this darkened
place that I wish to
find in light but I
know with all of my
being it cannot be done
for I have given all
that I was and could
ever be to that one
person who held all
of my dreams.

I am forever consumed
with my own realities
of complexed feelings
and awkwardness that
I cannot explain.

I feel like I am forever
spiraling in the air
that I Wish to breathe
but yet my chest is
tightened and my heart
stands still not
allowing what I need
to completely feel so
I engulf the air with
all of my might but
yet still my lungs are
closed off tight.

I wish to live in death,
dream in days,never to
forget who and what brought
me to this place.I step
back and look at the
life around me,the outside
that I so long to live
seems so far away even
though my feet quickly
can carry my weight out
of the threshold that
I wish to escape.

I am conspiring against
myself,I see him when
always I wish for Someone
else.I want to live!I
want to feel!But yet I
stand still to scared
of the words that forever
bond me where I am,the
words I was given by
another man.

I will never move completely
away because I remember
the words that were
Spoken on that fateful
day!Never forget that we
are one and one day whether
here or there we will
forever be happy together
peacefully.

We see eye to eye,you and me!

Conspiracy reflections

I search for peace
where confliction
resides,entranced
in my own world
of insufferable
pain I seek meditation
in my thoughtless
thoughts that haunt
me constantly.

I aim my frustrations
toward my inner being,
beckoning myself to move
past what cannot be
changed and into what
can although be once
again rearranged.

I feel like I am being
tormented by my own
reflection that even
I cannot see in my
mirror of pain any
longer.I look into
my past and wish for
it to be my future.

I walk forward in
backward steps wondering
why I have seen this
road before in my
dreams of failed mishaps.
I take a pen to paper
and hold it steadily
in place but no words
seem to find their fate
or escape.

I am lost on these
tracks leading to
no where!My dignity
has become harder
everyday to be proud
of or even shared.

I am doomed to the person
that I no longer wish
to be,in the mirror my
reflection becomes my
own made conspiracy!

My hearts voice

Lonely hearts swallow
the sound of silence
in the night hours of
I miss and need you
so's.

Wide awake days left
in the dark to see
empty.Pushed away
words of forgive me
is heard softly.

Known acts of un-common's
give us something to
blame,hearts though
sometimes cannot help
who gives them a lovers
flame of hopes and
desires.

Lost in my thoughts
of I know what to do!
Found in a heart that
I wish could be true!
Tempted by the chance
of one more time!Worried
that I will be left
again to cry!

Body to be found in
the safety of your arms,
hearts left to be set
on alarm.Chances are
made to be given,hearts
sometimes just have
to be forgiven!

I find hurt where I
wish to find mad!Give
up and never go back!
But this heart of mine
is not a giver upper,
I walk back into what
may be a hell made from
heaven.I walk back into
the devils grasp because
I have yet to be left
bending.I am however
maybe to forgiving!

My heart to only see
my wanting!My mind
screaming and fighting
the whole way!I push
my thoughts away as I
let my heart say what
it wants to say.

Hollow words

A soft word spoken into
the hollow of tomorrows
aching body of torments.

A kiss to be given in
the shadows of yesterdays
mishaps and endless let
downs.

A part to play in the
voice of the nights
song of grievances that
can be heard among the
angels of picture-less
memories.

A dream to spare in
this life of useless
wants that can only
find their way through
the shadows of graves
and swallowing sands
that help erase your
forgettable needs.

A cry of lost integrity
by the fallen men that
are now nothing more
but beggars on the street.
Left in the dark after
they fought our war only
wanting to find us our
peace.

A fire set to my pen
of missed words that
soon will be forgotten
among this world of
pain and conflictions.
Tear soaked paper of
the worries we live
in today,tomorrow the
sorrows will stray with
the new dawn of just
maybe!Could be!We'll
see!

Damning insecurities

Demons play on this
mind of mine,I am
blinded to my own
thoughts of failure
and insecurities.

I play with the bottom
of my lip in deep
thoughts of a freedom
that will give me
relief of my memories.

A tear falls from
my swollen eyes
that have not slept
in peace for as long
as I can remember,its
those thoughts that
forever haunt my dreams
in the light of day.

I wear my smile like
a princess in a long
ago fairy tale in the
meeting of her prince
for the very first time.
Like Cinderellas shoe
it drops on the ground
as I walk away from all
that views me.

I am worn down to the
wick like a burned out
candle that will never
find its way back to
the light again.I fall
back into the pit of
damning hell,I fall
under my old demons
bitter spell of grief
filled insecurities

Dried ink

I am drowning in my own nothingness as
I do what I have always despised. I am hiding
behind these closed doors! I hide from that
light, that one the use to pour so freely within
my heart. My soul use to beg me for more, it
cried out for the release of life and enjoyment.
Now I am scared, I am scared of what could be,
I am scared of what once was! The feeling of my
own breath suffocates me "until", until I reach
and feel that nothing and no one is holding me by
my throat. It is just the thought of life that stills
me into silence!

Life is no longer easily spared as it had been
so many years before. Life can no longer be
found without these tears of hidden fears and
insecurities. There are no wounds to be found
on my flesh, there are no scars that can be seen
by the naked eye. There are just these unspoken
words that are missed along the way of fulfillment.

Trenches of spiraling dreams run deep within
my soul,they are searching for the answers that
are always untold. I am hidden awake as I am
faking asleep, in this life that I am made to breathe.
I search for the positive that I wish to feel but I
am always left finding my own negatives that seem
so surreal! They are there! I see them! I feel them!
I am them!

A lining of ink made of thoughts and words
torment my mind, the meanings not even
I can any longer understand.I search blindly
as my eyes are closed so no one else can see
me. I am like a child in a game of hide in seek!
That is me! I look up at the sun, the stars, the
moon in search of the heavenly skies and the
words that they wish to be scribed, but yet still
the words are lost within the corners of my
own mind. They are like broth leaking from
a fork, I can smell them, I can almost taste them.
They are so close but yet so far away. I look
for my spoon to savoir my scribes, the ones
that use to be made of flavor. Even when they
were absurd I could still find my own rhyme,
my own feelings, my own dreams and hopes.
Now they are left behind like the midnight hour
at the break of dawn!

As always I drift back into my obligations,
never admitting that I understand what is
brought forward and what must be cut down.
I frown persistently as I move forwards away
from myself hesitantly. I beg to be freed, my
ink of torment and tears to once again bleed
in built up nothing-less. Fears of wonderment
unravels in these words that only some will
understand but many will fear by their own
written hand.

The only nightmares I dreamt of last night were
my own words that hid within me frightfully.
Never to see the light of day! My hands I learn
to fight and control! Torment remembers the ink
that once bled from my pen! Never to be hidden
what once was unafraid, my feelings I now hold
within as it cuts me like a blade that is made up
of dark sin. I am left to bleed within! Closing my
eyes I now deny the words that can always be
easily found. My ink I now let dry like the dew on
a spring days morning. Tears falling from my eyes,
I disguise!

A woman's worth

I am careful with
the words that I
say,my heart has
to often been taken
out like a toy and
played.

I am a lady to be
loved like a flower
that has just found
spring,I wish nothing
more but to prove
dignity and respect
is what I am made of.

I have played a mans
game one to many times.
Seen all the girls around
me leave happily but
their self esteem cannot
be found once their clothes
are shredded upon the
ground.

I watch them in a corner
acting the part,I wonder
when they decided no love
belongs to be found in
their hearts.A tear in
the night she cries all
alone,she sees now an
empty side to her bed
because he belongs to
another home.

I turn to my side and
see my sweet love,I am
grateful he learned my
mind before my clothes
met the floor where I
would of been left to
cry forever more.

I wander my days in
sweet happy bliss,I
know my love seen my
heart before I gave
in with a tempting
kiss.I am a women of
stature even with what
little I may have,my
dignity will never be
found lying upon the
ground.