Worth

 Self worth… thats a hard one to talk about. Why? Why is hard to talk about? What is even harder is the fact that so many people are searching for their self worth. Wait a minute, why does anyone have to search for their self worth? When did we lose it? When did we become so unworthy in our own eyes that we have decided that others can look at us the same way? 

What makes it worse? The fact that our families see our worth, those closest to us see our worth but we don’t. We allow other people who will never really make a difference in our lives treat us like we are anything but worthy. We allow people to treat us like our lives mean nothing unless it benefits them in some sort of way. 

What makes people believe that their lives are more worthy, more important? Are we suppose to bow down because someone else fell into a life that most could dream of? Does this make you special? Not at all! I think the everyday normal people need to stand up and speak up! We wont, we will sit back and take it and take it until we lose it! I feel like I need a start over, not with my family.. but with myself! I need to do the things that I swore I would do! Be my own boss, use my degree that I busted my butt for working two jobs and raising three girls alone. How did I see my worth then but now? 

I write because it has always been my outlet, I write because I am scared that if I speak up it will all come flooding out and people would be shocked if they knew what I hold in every single day. I am so tired of pity trips that come from the mouths of those that have no clue what a hard life is really about. 

Maybe I am just a bitch, maybe I am just fed up! Either way I am ready to take MY life and do with it as I please. Tonight I will go to bed and tell myself over and over that I am worthy… I hope that when I wake up and I still in this mindset. Sweet dreams world and find your worth.. you are worthy and you matter!