Wednesday, July 24, 2013

After writing "Five Year Old Death" I started doing some therapy. You know, bring the skeletons out of the closet now deal with them in life kind of thing. She says I need to come out with everything no matter what happens because it is affecting me in ways it should not have to. I have been tearing myself up inside thinking about this because I know the people I love the most will be affected in a very negative way if I do so. The reason certain things were not written was to protect people. Protect them from what will hurt them the most. My therapist says I need to for once think of myself when no one else has ever thought of me. I protected people because I love them, but yet I have not ever been protected from these people. If anything I have been hurt more by the ones I have loved. I am starting to see it the way that she sees it also. Along the way my life will be completely and utterly torn to pieces but at least with the rest of the story I will be set free from torments that have bothered me for a very long time. I am use to starting over and I can do it again if I have to. For once I am going to think of myself, when no one else has!  

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