It is after four in the morning
but I am restless! I am so full
of hate and resentment that I
cannot find any piece of mind.
As I toss and turn I am screaming
silently within myself all of my
grievances against the lair of which
was once my heart.
I call him a coward for the truths
he still denies in his pitiful life
of wanting bigger things than
what the heart can give.
I try to laugh it off acting as
if it meant just as little to me
as it did him, but it is not so
There is no love lost any longer
in my heart that beats only the
fraction of what it needs to live
on even when death for life had
so easily been taken. With a grin
of his smile and falsities.
How calming it must feel to know
that you could not once twice or
even four times murder someone
from their inside out. How pleasant
it must feel to know that you raped a
hope and dreams carelessly!
But you go on, knowing all said
is lies, knowing what you have
done over and over again in what
you called in the name of love.
It was nothing more than your own
Full of hate and rage for the innocent that you wished to kill internally
I am as always been the only one to
tell truths where lies reside! How
selfish not to admit it just for the
sake of denial!
See at one time even in recent I
would cry at the thought of you!
I would allow myself to be crushed
and given tales of affection freely!
But now, now I am full of hate and
my own selfishness. I want to prove
the truth, not to greedily hurt you. But
to show you that you cannot come in
and out, in and out of a heart for your
own purposes and never suffer the
consequences that I have been made
to suffer over and over again.
I think of the tears shed for nothing
more than a player wanting the touch
he could not find where his head rest
of a night.
I beg for someone or something to
take me out of my miseries!
All of the beatings and thievery
you shout out to me as you say
you saved me and I should be
grateful for the times given is
nothing more than your own
Saved me from what? I want to
know but yet I do not care any
longer! You see the beatings I
received from you without a touch
to the skin is more than my mind
and heart can any longer bare!
Go on, go on along your way
for I no longer care what happens
in your midnight hour!
But if you are any kind of man
at all, you would tell the truth
and let all be bygones!
But I know this you will never do,
for no words spoken from your lips
have ever been true!