Wednesday, October 30, 2013

All of me

The scars that I carry cannot be seen by the naked eye
they are felt deep within my soul,
sometimes they sting from past reminders of how they were given
but they are no longer left open to bleed
as the knife cuts deeper into my raw flesh.

There are memories that still haunt me,
like they happened just yesterday.
But they seem to come and go within the fraction of one moment,
one tormented second of a past nightmare relived.
Within that second,
that moment of pain disappears once again.

My heart still cries sometimes,
for that is understandable if you really felt the words
that were so easily given.
My heart has never been one for games,
never has it preyed on the weak
for its own satisfaction and gain.
It has never used someone to make another jealous
in hopes that it will be given what it wants,
never caring of those it hurts along the way.

I have realized something,
you were never worth a heart that really feels any kind of emotion,
never were you worth the tears that have been spilled
in the past or even the future that will have to be hid
behind a pretty smile and laugh.
You were just the devil
stalking out your prey,
like a tiger stalking the weak,
never realizing some has more strength than he.

And I have realized that I am not the loser
in this game that was played,
for I came out the winner in so many different ways.
I have found myself within the reflection you never had the chance to see
and I have found a love like I have never felt before.
I have found the man that you could never be,
one who does not play with hearts in hopes of greed.

I am staring at this chair,
you know the one,
the one you said took you to heaven and back.
Over it is draped the blue shirt,
the one that brought the blues of your eyes out so beautifully.
They are waiting patiently for the rain to still
for they will go up in flames
with all of my hurt and tears that you felt I deserved.
With it will burn the memories of your lies
and I will finally be free
to live my life with someone who deserves
all of me!

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