Perfect Sinner

I bet you don't know me,
even though you see me.
I bet you don't even try,
if I am not in your group
of the perfect sinner.

I bet you will preach to me
if I would give you half a second.
I bet you will tell me you are a Christian
and then walk the earth
sinning more than I ever could.

I bet you will hide away
pretty as you please.
You talk your talk for all to hear
and drink yourself to sleep.
They are praising you
because they do not know you.
A fake who hides beneath,
worried that no one will understand.
Your soul cringes in pain
listening to the words you speak,
but we both know
you will never mean.

I bet you will talk about me
even though you have no clue who I am.
I bet you will tell them I am a sinner
even though you have never walked in my shoes.
I bet you think you are better than me,
even though you have never had to do a thing in your life
that was actually worked for by your own blood and tears

I bet you do not know who you even are,
I bet no one else does either.
You are to busy playing a fools game
hiding behind a bible that you have only half read.

The beat of two hearts bonded together are not always in perfect rhythm, sometimes they have to play their own tune in order to remember where they belong! Love full force without any boundaries or don't love at all! Loving my babies and hunni through all of the struggles and happiness!

Ghost

Walking the halls,
picking up what needs picked up,
washing the dishes and clothes,
nothing left at the bottom when through.

Wiping tears,
giving empowerment when it is needed,
letting go when I have to,
learning the difference between the two.

Playing super hero when problems arise,
fighting off the wolves that knock on the door.
crying silently within,
when hurtful things find there way,
knowing not all can be fixed with the words of a woman.

Walking the halls,
never being seen clearly,
taken for granted,
caused by own hands.

Just a ghost,
doing what needs to be done.
Day of chores,
never taking a break,
living life
not living at all.

Standing in the kitchen,
the form of a ghost now missing.

Me and my sexy country hunni

Entwined

The entwine of two hands,
forever written in the horizon,
tomorrows promise
of something worthwhile enough
to hold on from now
until the end of days.

A circle that never ends,
a roller coaster of emotions,
a whirlwind of romance
in the still of the night
a star in the sky, leading the way.

Blanket on the sand,
pole in hand,
remembrance of yesterday,
with dreams of tomorrow.
Hand in hand,
nothing was caught
but a kiss in the moonlight
by the one that you could
never be apart!

Freedom found in the heartbeat
that belongs to your other half.
Skin wrinkled and dulled with time,
hair grayed but that's okay.
Nothing matters in the old creaking swing
but an old couple who shares
their special moments and memories!

Left to be

Written words,

vision of black ink,

tastes of salt,

scrolled in the mind,

left to be!

Nothing comes to light,
that was dream-t,
Worthiness staggers,
in muddied floors of soil.
Dust left to be!

Given life,
taken lightly,
conquered hardships
fall short from good enough.
exhaustion, left to be!

Giving every ounce,
nothing left but a heartbeat.
Worries about those that live,
dying inside with every step taken.
Me, left to be!

A Mark on the Soul

I cannot tell you what really makes me thrive
anymore I couldn't really say.
The lack of a forgotten reality
has placed it's mark upon my soul.
Thoughts are my own and never spoken
not many can understand me
even more has given me no reason to be open.

When I find something to hold on to, another leaves
I never really feel as if I am whole.
There is something missing
something that I cannot put my finger on.
I grieve for my own lack of living
I have tried more than most
but roadblocks are always in my way.

The struggles of life has always found me,
sometimes I am tired of trying.
One success leads to many setbacks,
bleed my heart and soul into something
for reasons that I do not see

Choosing others in front of me has always been my norm
the type of person who wants to make others happy
even though I feel so scorned in a restless world.
I am only a part of a routine
that ages me faster than my age reflects.

Sit quietly peering into a world that is not mine to have
envying a stranger
because they have what I wish to accomplish
If I am made to live,
then I want to feel alive!
I want to be seen as more than the go getter
for others who ignore my own needs.

I just need something to call my own,
a dance under the moonlight
with the love of my life.
I want to feel like he is there in that moment,
cherishing the love that I give so freely.

I don't know how I got here
to this place that I swore I would never find again.
Have I made the people in my life believe
that I am stronger than I really am?
I feel weak in this persona of who I portray,
I feel useless in a life that takes me for granted everyday.

I feel a pain throughout my body
I am left to wonder if it is physical
or if it is nothing more than a emotional roller coaster.
For now I will give myself a pity trip.
Someday soon I will do as I always have
and just ignore the pain and get over it!

Write it up as another mark on the soul,
a scar that will linger hidden underneath
waiting to be uncovered once more.