White Stallion

There are no winners in a losing battle
right and wrong will never feel the heartaches
that is held in the balance of raveled feelings.
There are no victories or raised high glasses
when one side feels the pain
that the other never tried to understand.

I felt the loss
the hurt the unguarded heart let in
all of the meaningful things slip away,
never as important as in the beginning.
The untouched hand
the unspoken words
all of the things that made it real,
left all to soon.

Festering questions boggling the mind,
holding them in I could feel the sting of the blade
ripping away at my heart more everyday.
Teardrops of black ink writing a thousand words,
catastrophe of thoughts,
never allowed to finish the story.

My fault, I know
I should have been stronger and held my feelings in
acted as if everything was alright
when nothing was the same.
I should have rebuilt those walls
that kept everyone at a safe distance.
Only allowing them little pieces of me,
as I held on to what was most important, my soul.

I should have grasp my feelings,
held them in until alone in the dark.
Cry away the hurt, as I learned long ago.
Never speak the words of torment,
never allow another to see the tears of pain.
Wake in the morning and cover reddened cheeks
with make up and a placed smile.

Only the strong wins
in a world that was never meant for the weak hearted.
I will place my great white stallion at the door
with his guard and sword.
Defense strategies are in place,
a broken heart I will never again face.
Streaked cheeks will only be seen by the nights angels,
who suffer their own broken wings of defeat.