Outburst

I am frequented by emotional outburst
that has been bound within,
scorching every nerve to a tingling halt.
Reflecting on every word and action
over and over.

I scramble for understanding,
of who I am and what I am capable of.
What actions should be taken,
what few should have been stopped before they started.
I listen to an old country song,
lost in thought I reflect on the difference
between the two.

I am the dictator of my own life,
but I have no esteem to see past my failures.
I am the controller of all things that may be,
but I have lost control of the simplest thing, me!
I am the only one who can understand myself
but the darkness has put up a shadow
that not even I can see past.

I sometimes find myself talking to the shadows on the walls,
they stand still listening to my every thought.
They never move in anticipation of leaving,
enthralled on everything that I have to say.
They have no where else to go, you see?
They stand watch at the human form
that is of them and me.

I am frequented by emotional outburst
that has been bound within,
scorching every nerve to a tingling halt.
Reflecting on every action
that has ever been made over and over again.

Everything is lined out
in a perfect understandable fashion.
Accomplishments are joyed upon,
forgetting of the tears that were shed along the way.
Once lost was found, once feared is fearless!
I can see the difference between the two,
there is no underlining of ink scrambling my mind.

I am the dictator of my own life,
I have the esteem to see past my failures.
I am the controller of all things that may be,
I know who I am, I know who I may one day be.
I am the only one who knows who hides beneath,
the picture is clear like the horizon on a brisk winters day.

There is only one shadow on the wall,
it sits and listens to me singing over that old country song.
In harmony we walk together
nothing holding us down from the outside world.
It has no where else to go, you see
but to try and keep up with me.

I am frequented by emotional outburst
that is bound within me.
My mind tells me what will be,
at times it can be more than a little confusing.