The mind of a Manic

I have weathered the storms,
Came to my crossroads,
Picked my destination,
Just to be lost again.

I have cried a waterfall of  tears
Allowed them to dry
Picked myself up off the floor
Just to stumble again.

I have felt my chest cave
My heart pounding uncontrollably
Calmed the beat
Only to feel the pressure building again

I have screamed my insanity
Misunderstanding what is obvious to everyone else.
Finally seeing the light
Just to fade back into the darkness

I have feared life
And sometimes myself
Like a child in the corner
Huddled in wait to be rescued.
Standing alone I join the crowd
For just a moment I feel the presence of another
once again disappear into my own invisibility.

I have lived
And almost died
at the hands of the abusers
Some I still wish revenge upon.

I have searched for my worst enemy.
Wanting to set things straight where life seems so crooked.
I want to ask why life has never seemed settled,
why the sky never seems as bright as it should

I have asked the questions
That I need answered so badly.
I never really understood that my worst enemy,
Looks something like me!

I live in the mind of a manic
Where I want to escape.
Some of us are a little insane
Some of us want what so many takes for granted!

Living in a mind that feels unsettled!