Final Goodbyes

I have to wonder
what is on your mind,
you never believed I would walk away did you?
What are you doing now?
Are you solemnly laying
around regretting the things that I begged for?
You never were much for the strength
that it takes to be a man with integrity.
You had a lack of self esteem,
what more would make you stomp
the person that you just hit to the ground.

I have to wonder
what is your deepest regret?
Was it the day that you had a chance
to keep the only woman who for so long took your crap?
The day that the bargaining was laid to rest
as I walked out the door that could no longer keep me in.
I cannot help but wonder
what you are thinking right now

I have to wonder
did you ever believe that you would see a smile upon my face
that was not painted on with dollar store bought make-up.
I cannot help but feel cocky now,
a degree that you never thought that I could earn.
How silly your degrading comments seem now
that you are there living the same ol same ol
while I am enjoying the progress that you swore
I would never be smart enough to acheive.

I have to wonder
when did you realize that your late night text
would not lead you back into my home of security.
Your calls were ignored while I fished the banks
of freedom and love for the life that I lost so long ago.
I cannot help but feel smug,
I made it out while you cried your thousandth apology
and finally
for the first time ever
I heard the voice of deceit
I saw the face of lies
I made it out
while you were for the first time ever
left battered
left alone on a Saturday night
left mentally abused
by nothing more than my final goodbye!