Conflicting thoughts

Conflicting thoughts
impatient dreams,wants
of more rewarding
and hopeful things.

Restless night,bonds
of nothing but recurring
night frights that
follow me around in
the dark.

Strayed mind,off in
another world that
sometimes gives me
peace, looking for
release from my own
entranced mindless
games of grief.

Penetrating gut pains
that swallow me whole
again,living in fear,
never strong enough to
enjoy my own test of
fate.I always hesitate!

My thoughts to stand
apart from myself,times
wasting as I dream of
nothing else but failed
drills of time.My body
weak and deviant!

Confusion takes hold,
my mind and body never
to stand bold.My body
grows cold and stiff
like a drink on the
rocks,I feel failer
ticking by me like a
clock.Tick toc!

I search again into
the deepest corners
of my mind,I see nothing
against the dark that
leaves me shivering and
frightfully blinded to
the hidden light that I
depressingly search to
find.

I bend and I crack,I cry
and then I laugh.I am not
yet broken,the ending of
my story is yet to be read
or spoken!