No prince charming

I sit here and think of everything I have ever done and seen in my life.I remember every struggle and tear that I have shed and feel lost to this cold dark world knowing such people can reak such heartache on a person who is so full of love and want's nothing more in life than peace and true
happiness. I go to a dark room staring into space, trying to recall the last time I truely had someone to call mine. A heart to believe it had finally found the one who could make it proudly and happily beat to the beats it heard on the music player, dancing in the arms of prince charming kissing his lips and knowing this was finally it. A calmness came over me in the happy times we had, never could I believe it could go away, never did I believe this to was only fake.

I bask in the rememberance that life had for just a monent been perfect, I believed every word that my Mr. Perfect had ever said. Remembering our trips away from the world, no smiles could of ever been so loving and true until the day he proved to me I was just his whoever and his tale of forever was one that should not of been believed because in the end he moved on and left me to invisbly bleed. A heart to never feel again the same as it was before we had ever meant, to scared to see the light to scared to find my real Mr. Right. I sit in a darkened room and I dream of you and for some reason you are still all that I need and I cry for you wishing it had been as real to you as it had been to me.

You sit in a darkened room swallowing your dreams with every drink you take, knowing your choice was a great mistake. You think of ways to make it right but you have no way to win this fight. You stay where you believe you have to be, now not saying a word to anyone not wanting them to see your eyes, and the heart you have that lives it's days in misery. You put up your smiles and tell great tales making everyone around you believe you are where you want to be. I feel your suffering, I feel your pain in every word that you have to say. I keep it in my mind the words you say the most, to be friends always and one day soon what we had wanted and our dreams will come true. I sit here and get so mad I cannot believe you still have me waiting, I cannot believe you would keep living a life so fake, full of lies and so much heartache.

I try to make myself hate you through and through, I say I am done and no more waiting can I do. I fake that I depise everything about you..but my darling I pray that in your heart you know that could never be true, for you are all that I have ever wanted and my dreams of missing you are ones of loneliness and hauntings. I sit here and wish I knew what the demons had over you to live a life in darkness and doom. One day we will be together as you said, but the waiting is leaving me in a life of dread.