Hide and seek words

There is not much that I fear as
I have always lived a life of a
troubled mind.Life has given me
many obstacles to jump over,here
and there I will admit I wanted
nothing more but for death to take
me away!I have never really wanted
to stay in a world so full of dread
and hate!

I play a song that will reach my
heart but sometimes even it will
make me go farther into a dark pit
of the unknown corners that I now
have to turn,my skin burns!My mind
yearns for release,it still yet turns
and turns in life's cycle of lost
memories!Maybe I should fear only me!

I try to look at the bright side,but
inside there is something missing!I
cannot put my finger on it,my mind
plays havoc on me!I am chasing to
many dreams,I get restless wondering
why it is so hard to once be enough
just as I am.I dream of a death that
will one day come from my own hand!

I wont feel like this for long it
comes and goes,I find a reason to
put a smile on my face once again!
Just because I can hide my feelings
so easily,I make myself believe I
don't need anyone but myself!To count
on anyone else would be calling my own
bluff!

So I try to be fearless of the next
punch that is always to be felt in
this life I have lived in called hell!
The only relief I have is in the words
I so often spill,whether they are good
or bad!My words are all that I really
have,no one can ever take them from me!
They reside in my mind like a game of
hide in seek,only by me can they ever
be found!

Now that my feelings are once again
written for all to read I will light
this cigarette that I really do not
need and continue on with my day.I
may even plead it to go away,but in
the end I have always been the strong
one to play in life's most treacherous
games of pain!