Begged off dreams

Tell me this is not so,
dreams of you I begged
away like a foe, blasted
from my memories of long
ago days.

Your face I turned to dust
in my minds deepest corners,
my love for you I wished to
no longer discover, your
embrace I felt would be nothing
more but of the coldest weather
as we walked away from each
other.

My souls memory feels you tonight,
I cry and weep as I beg your memory
to once again take flight from my
heart and mind. I try to deny that
you were once all that I wished to
find! How I was so blind!

I am at a crossroads between longing
and serenity, truth and denial, a
love that is true, a love that held
nothing for me but a ruse!

Dreams of a past connection haunts my
days, my nights I walk in a haze, a
forever maze! My life's miseries a
endless trail of indignity sought
out to hurt me, discoveries of the
real you that was always out to burn
me!

Why are you then on my mind, why does
my heart cry tonight for the man who
I know could never be my mr right? The
pain, the suffering, the lies you never
grew tired of telling me! But here I lay
so wide awake, afraid to close my eyes
and relive all of my past mistakes! But
yet my heart tonight cries out for you,
a fake who could never be true!

I lay and shutter at my stupidity, dreams
of you I once again beg to elude me. Your
face I turn to dust behind my eyes that I
can no longer trust! A heart that knows
right from wrong, but yet I cannot help
that it is you tonight that I long for!
I beg for your flight! I close my door,
I try to remember that I was only your
mere whore!

I rush to my dreams once again, finally
I can only remember him! The man of my
dreams, the one who loves all of me!
Why still when I wake up is it you that
I seek? I guess I can no longer deny that
you will always hold a part of me until
the end of our lives! I try once again to
deny!