Gun shy

I am gun shy and scared everyday
that I wake up,I just know any minute
something will blow up in my face.

I have cried a thousand un-seen tears,
whispered a million un-heard prayers.
My life has never been the kind that
you would want to live,most would of
ran and hid.

A childhood of dread and wishing life
would take me now,to adulthood of pain
and many doubts.

I am gun shy from everyone I meet,trusting
anyone has never served me well,I think of
all of this and dwell.

My mind is haunted by so many memories that
I wish I could erase with ease,but still I
sit here helplessly,blinded by my haunting
dreams.

I want to move on and forget the pain,enjoy
the one who has once again put a smile on
my face.

I am gun shy and my shield is still up,I
just want to once again learn to love and
trust.

I will take it one step at a time and hope
I am not once again left behind.I will lower
the shield one day soon I hope and forget
about the ones who left me shattered and
broke.