Chest full of notes

She sits in her living room looking out into space remembering

so much that the time had seemed to erase.A lost love plays on

her mind frequently as she tries to remember his face,every last

crease and line.A smile curves her lips as she is taken back in

time,she can almost feel his arms wrapping her into his like an

ivy vine clinging to her for survival.His eyes she can see clearly

now,the color of the beautiful-est sky on a summers day.

She imagines herself in his arms again even though she knows to

live in the past will only bring her unneeded pain that will once

again bring her to her knees in grief. She misses all of their

fairy-tale dreams and the nights that they had loved each other

with all the they could give and had,remembering the love that

had been always so real.

She walks to her closet where a chest still lies,here is where

she will find once again all of her memories.Tucked inside is

an old brown envelope filled with all of his notes,the sides are

now splitting from the years that have gone by,she still sees

on it the tears that she has so often cried.She starts to take

out the notes he sent as a picture of him falls from her hand,

it does not look a day older than when it was sent to her by

him.

She grips it in her hand tightly; looking upon his face that she

had loved so dearly wondering why their lives had taken the turn

that it had so long ago.She looks up at the walls that should

carry photos of the family that they had always wished for,by

now it should be filled with pictures of their grandchildren as

they play in the backyard vigorously searching out their play

toys.

A tear falls from her eyes as she takes the last of the letters

out of the envelope that has been searched through many times

before,to find a letter from war.Dear Emily it brings me much

sadness to write this from afar,your loving fiance has been buried

like so many more before their time.He put himself on the line

as many times before, this time though his soul has found the

ending to this forsaking war.

She looks to the walls once again,there are no pictures to see,not

even one of her make belief dreams.She closes her eyes and thinks

of him as she slowly passes away;  here is where he has always

been waiting.Hand in hand they walk into the light,this is just

the beginning of their perfect life..

I hide myself where no one can see, my blood boils remembering your words of deceit! My legs still shake as my eyes glisten black, I hate the thought of you and your laugh! I rue the day that I ever meant you, my despise I wish to vent upon you,making you fear the one who you hurt. You never cared enough for anyone else,you walk on hearts as if they can easily be rebuilt, treating them like dirt. In all my hate that I feel for you, my tears still spill in the middle of the night, wishing our love would of been worth the fight!!

An eagle fly's with wings spread wide searching for his soul mate appearing larger than life as he flaps his gracefulness through the air. He sings his song of love as he drifts through the day, his powerful image to hide him in his lonesome world. He lays perched in his tree now, his soon to be mate is also on her prowl.

Have you ever walked outside and the sky is so dark and there is not a star to be found anywhere and the cold bites your skin to the bone and in the next minute your mind awakens and the sky seems so beautiful within the darkness and a warmth runs through you, in that moment you find a peace within yourself that was lost, in that moment you find yourself again and all the pain runs away from you like a waterfall that was dried and forgotten about springing to life again, Flowing its beauty once again to perfection? That is called living through the darkest of times and remembering what life can give you,not what it has taken from you,,

The sky is yet not at it's bluest, the sun has no shine to heat the earth, there is a cool breeze touching your face tenderly as you hear the birds up in the trees, you sit back with your coffee cup in hand enjoying all of the morning sounds. Just for a minute all is well, just for a second you are completely at peace,,

I walk the edge of life, my dreams can be seen from afar, a fighting battle I fight in the name of life! I show you what you want to see but you never will know the real me! I am sweet, I am dark, I have a story to be told that you would never wish to embark,, I have an alter ego that buries her pain in words that she as me can only wish to say! maybe one day you will see the other part of me!

I am so tired yet I cannot sleep, words are forever on my mind playing endlessly. My heart races as I once again try to lay down! The night tires me as I toss and turn, the sun hits my face way to early, my eyes always to burn!

The blaming game

This year has really been awful,
I would like to forget the fact
that most men play the part of
a great actor,no heart.

We are going to play the blaming
game,tell me my words are wrong
and I will say them again,just the
same.

Now I know this group is mostly
men but my words cannot be stopped
now that they are written in pen.

Now there are a few that may not be
the same,we have to the right Poet Shi
he writes with a heart that also can
feel grief and pain.

To the left we have Santos Taíno Santiago
all through Facebook you can read his
sexy,steamy, lovely poems.

So for now I will play the blaming game,
take my heart from every man! I don't
even wish to feel their hands,their tears
of frustration I can see at a glance,o yea
I know you sir you only want to get into
another girls pants,watch your hands!

I will stay alone as I always have,post
here,post there,post where I can never
be found,never again to feel despair.

I will smile my smile as you talk your denial,
I will take a breath as I push you to your
knees,this girl no longer cares about any
man's need!!!

Hopelessly awake

I toss and turn as I cry in my sleep, my body is
searching for the one who holds all of me.

I walk through my days as a shadow within myself,
my mind races as it screams out for help.

I am damaged goods at best, this life I live in has shown
me the only peace I will find is in death.

I speak a million words and still I am never heard, I cry a
thousand tears and yet I am still lingering here.

I pray for release, all I want is to leave this place that I dread,
this life I have grown to hate,my being I wish to dissipate,in my
mind this has always been my fate.

A dark shadow can be seen on my wall, a coldness has taken me
to hold. My eyes burn now with no rest,my heart is pumping frantically
inside of my chest.

Sleep is now taking over me but I will still have to suffer the pain in
my dreams. I will wake in the morning to a new day, where I will then
once again relive all of my pain.

My mind is going insane, I can only find him to blame, my life never to
be the same. I lay down now to play dead, I wish I could not hear these
words that always play on my mind.

I can run but from my mind I can never hide,The true me for now I will
disguise, my eyes are now burning with despise.His words were never
anything but hopeless lies!

Glances

A quick glance over your shoulder, you use to not be so bold!
His heart you have never forgotten, with him you felt so at home.

You never grew cold as you laid in his embrace, the heat from
his body to always quicken your blood leaving behind his gentle
love.

A kiss that speaks a thousand words as he walks out your door
once again, you are left with his undying words of love as you
are made to believe you fit each other like a glove.

A glance over your shoulder once again, you remember now all
of your pain, he is always to be the same!

A first love to haunt you dreams, your days are filled with nothing
more but his memory. A taste of his lips is all that you seek, you
could then be lost with nothing more but happy memories.

Dark angel

A dark image walks his way slowly
to me his eyes are full of malice
but they are enchanting to see, a
darkness I wish to read.

His beauty draws me toward him,I
am scared but yet I am unafraid
of him.His beauty so hypnotizing.

His darkness sizzles it's warnings
to run away,my feet never to move
backwards, stepping closer to him
they stray.

His voice is filled with a hollowness
that can be heard all around me,he is
trying to build a fear inside of me,
instead I walk closer wanting to see
him more clearly.

The closer I move toward him the more
my body chills in his presence.He has
captivated my mind to take as his own
now,I am still not scared of the image
I may find.

My body is shaking and my heart is
trembling,my knees are weak as I walk
closer to the man I seek to see.

A few steps more and I see a beautiful
dark angel standing before me.His hair
glistens it's blackness down his back,
his eyes are the color of coal,his skin
the color of tarnished copper.

His hand opens up enticing me to take
a hold of it,I tremble as I give him
what he wants,my mind now belongs to
this man as I take hold of his hand.

My soul now has been taken by the power
of this dark angel.My eyes can only see
the beauty of a man that carries his own
misery.

I walk down the path that he leads me,my
heart now to bleed seeing nothing more
than his beauty,a dark angel in need.I
will not be the one who refuses he,we
share now each others miseries.

The bright side of the moon

Moonlight shines it's brightness
on the tree tops showing us there
is as brighter side to the dark
that falls down on us at night.

A night owl screeches his melody
from afar enticing our ears as we
search him out, the moon to show
his small shadow, he is quite now.

Peacefulness falls as the moon
rises to it's resting place for
the night. The sun is gone but
yet it is still so bright with
the endless night sounds of natures
song.

I sit on the porch with a drink in
my hand enjoying the brightness that
the night has found. A peacefulness
that you only can found when the sun
once again goes down.

The dark side of the sun

I gaze at the dark side of the sun,
the clouds cover it with the darkness
of rain clouds pouring it's miseries
down on us with a vengeance.

I watch the rain as I reflect on the
year that is to be shuffled into my
past now and wonder where the time has
went.

I dream of a better year that will
bring me happier memories to reflect
on as the year goes by.

I dream of memories that will fill
my heart and mind with something
other than the sound of a old country
song, a love gone wrong.

I pray life gives me more than it has
in my past. The dark side of the sun is
now revealed showing me the brightness
that the clouds had for so long concealed.

Poem in a bottle

I can feel love drifting ever so close to
me. I walk the sandy shores
with a seashell in my hand as the grains
trickle between my toes, tickling me
with every step that I take.

The moon is almost full with a purple
hue of clouds covering the sky.
The smell of salt lingers in the air!
The waves are mesmerizing to watch,
the colors dance in union with the moons
glittering presence.

Out of the corner of my eye
I see glass bottle reach the shore.
My mind is to busy wandering
off thinking of the creatures that live
under the sea to pay any attention to what it could be.
The bottle now bangs on the oceans floor of seashells,
it may have went unnoticed if it had not now lain still.
A piece of paper covered in sand lays in the bottle
that I now hold in my hands.
This is what it reads,
a poem just for me,
I now start to read.

I can feel my love getting
closer everyday.A girl to
call my own on these tiring
lonesome days.A tender hand
to hold as I walk down the
beach, no words need to be
spoken to build our loving
memories. A kiss to her lips
as I bid her goodnight, her
hand softly leaves mine as
I once again wander back into
the night. I can feel my love
growing closer everyday.
I can hear her heart calling out my name.
A poem in a bottle will lead her
to me, or am I to forever be lost
in her words of lost memories?

I can feel my love drifting closer to me everyday
and until he finds me I will forever sit here and
wait. A poem in a bottle to read every night, wishing
on the stars to give me the man who will forever
be my knight.

Undefined

The taste of life is sour on my lips,
the blood pours from me as I am
to soon forget the lies that were so
easily given.

My inner peace is no longer to be
found as my body shatters into a
million pieces upon the ground.

A sacrifice I have sworn, his memory
has left me torn, a knife in my chest,
a blade to my throat, this life now is
to seem so remote.

I bleed, I fear, I cry, I scream my terrors
until I am consumed with bitterness and
I lay down to die! blinded, undefined he
still gives me more of his lies!Unknown, I
find my own way home,alone!

Hidden misery

Can you breath your light
into me? Can you make me
see? Can you make me feel
like the person I use to be?

Can you feel my blood as it
boils under my skin? Can you
see it running through my veins?
I am full of a bitter sweet pain!

I feel twisted and dark, my body
is being shredded apart. I fear for
my soul, to many stories yet untold,
never to unfold!

I am losing my sanity, my body no
longer wants to breath Where is the
girl who use to be me?She is no longer
here to be seen!

I walk through life's path, the one given
to me that I shall always carry on my back.
I look for the sun as I am only blinded by
the dark. My mind has been torn apart!

I fall asleep, I look for me, the girl that
use to be! Hidden misery is all that I can
see, no longer am I me!

Past tremors

Reliving dark memories that
were hidden for so long, my
mind has lost it's will to fight
the terrors off.

I can remember them like it
was yesterday, my mind is to
forever remember what was
lost so long ago.

Night sweats and tremors run
through my body, I am so tired
and weak I cannot even think of
anything else but the fatigue that
I feel.

I find myself looking off into space
not seeing the life around me that
I want to live. I only see my past!The
one I want to forget and put behind
me, why is that all I can see?

Fighting gloves

He is cruel, he is dark, he
laughs at my broken heart.
He left me torn and shattered
apart, he walks away with my
once loving heart.

His words will never be the same.
his dremas of us to go up into a
burning flame. My life is to always
be a blaming game of pain.

He is no better than the devils spawn,
he was not raised to be the man he is
today, his heart can no longer be seen
or found, it lays on the ground.

He finds his excuses and tells them so
readily, he believes they are true and
should be believed.His lies are now seen
he is nothing more than a deceiver.

He deserves nothing more in this life
but hurt and greif! He ruined the girl
that onced was, she hides in a corner
with her fighting gloves ready and armed,
making sure her heart never again will
be harmed.

I am going to take this one step at a time,
I am going to show him once again my
heart will be mine. He believes I will never
be the same, he wants to leave me torn
and shaken.

I will show him the girl that once was, can
once again take off her fighting gloves. I
will show him what he lost when he decided
my heart could easily be tossed.

Hearts disguises

I am not flawless, I have claws,
they come out of no where to
screech down my four walls!

I can cut you with their sharp
as steel pain, I have many to
blame including myself,I never
said I was an angel sitting on a
shelf!

I have my dark side but I am
just letting it out, I feel better
when I can let it vent and not
always stay hidden to build up.

I am no longer scared as I close
my eyes, my heart has found a
place where it can stay disguised,
no longer does it believe anyones
lies!

I will show my face when I am ready
but for now I will play my dice and
only come out of hiding when the time
is right, when I no longer feel the need
to fight against my own life!

Numb

I am searching for me but I
am numb and only see you as
your face flashes behind my
eyes, I can still see you as
you hide behind your disguise.

I have come un-done as I try
to see my heart I am faced with
the fears that I have always found,
once again I feel numb.

I drown in my own tears as I scream
out your name, my body feels needless
pain and here I go again, darkness
hides me as I protect myself from
my fears and pain.

You never knew me at all, I never
knew you at all! You hide behind a
cloak, words mis-spoken. Take my
heart with you as you go it can be
the devils token.

Take my soul and let it go into my
own made hell, I have given up never
again to rebel! Never to feel, nothing
has ever been real!

You are the devils warrior taking
all that you can, next time you run
for cover you will find no peace by
my hand! I am black, I am cold, I am
the person you let un-fold.

I will try to wake up one day but for
now in my darkness is where I feel safe!
Wake me up when the light can be seen
again, wake me up when life has more to
share than pain.