Reflections of today's world

My country has left me confused with anger and loathing that my reflection is not someone that I recognize any longer. With every passing day I reflect on new events and wonder how we came to the spot that we are in now. What road did we take that gave us permission to hate and spread misinformation that could harm others? When will it stop? When will we remember who we are and that all of us came from somewhere else? We had a beginning; our ancestors came from somewhere else unless we are indigenous "Native Americans"! 

I faulter in my steps and forget that hate is not the way! I want to hate those that are full of hate, yet that is not the way because two wrongs do not make a right. We cannot allow ourselves to become those that we feel contempt for. So, what do we feel for those who have lost their way and allowed hate to take over their hearts? What do we feel for those that we love or care about when we know what lies in their hearts and minds? The confusion has me at a standstill when I reflect on my thoughts that are at times overpowered by dread and distain. 

So, what is the answer? Are you lost in a world of confusion? Can we get back on track or are we the next country that will fall as others think they are helping us rise? Truth of what lies within can be hard to except but it is needed to be who we were meant to be. We need to look at our reflection from within, not the mirror on the wall. 

Worth

 Self worth… that's a hard one to talk about. Why? Why is hard to talk about? What is even harder is the fact that so many people are searching for their self-worth. Wait a minute, why does anyone have to search for their self-worth? When did we lose it? When did we become so unworthy in our own eyes that we have decided that others can look at us the same way? 

What makes it worse? The fact that our families see our worth, those closest to us see our worth but we don’t. We allow other people who will never really make a difference in our lives treat us like we are anything but worthy. We allow people to treat us like our lives mean nothing unless it benefits them in some sort of way. 

What makes people believe that their lives are more worthy, more important? Are we supposed to bow down because someone else fell into a life that most could dream of? Does this make you special? Not at all! I think the everyday normal people need to stand up and speak up! We won't, we will sit back and take it and take it until we lose it! I feel like I need a start over, not with my family. but with myself! I need to do the things that I swore I would do! Be my own boss, use my degree that I busted my butt for working two jobs and raising three girls alone. How did I see my worth then but now? 

I write because it has always been my outlet, I write because I am scared that if I speak up it will all come flooding out and people would be shocked if they knew what I hold in every single day. I am so tired of pity trips that come from the mouths of those that have no clue what a hard life is really about. 

Maybe I am just a bitch, maybe I am just fed up! Either way I am ready to take MY life and do with it as I please. Tonight, I will go to bed and tell myself over and over that I am worthy… I hope that when I wake up and I still in this mindset. Sweet dreams world and find your worth. you are worthy and you matter! 

Rescue

 What an evening, out to eat with my hunni and then watched the sunset. It was beautiful colors of pinks and reds, my favorite. Ten years this month with a man who is really a man. Someone who loves his family and has been a father to mine and my ex husbands girls. Sadly but thankfully he stepped up where my ex stepped down, well he had always been down.. so there’s that! Came home in time to hear my rescue squirrel screaming for milk. It seems so rewarding to nursemaid a creature back to health and watch them bloom into their own little beings. However the time has come that I will need to send him to a rescue, we both have grown attached to each other. That is such a no no when you take in wildlife but it can be hard to ignore them with all of their cuteness overload. My bad! 

So he will be taken to a rescue that has done this for years and knows how to let the wild stay wild. I would love to say that the next time I refuse to allow any attachment but I have said that time and time again. It’s a lie lol! Lies…. I cannot help myself! 

As for now I am going to enjoy him tonight and part of the day tomorrow and then have some family time before it is back to work Tuesday. I love these four day weekends because it means we go back to a three day work week. 

Help a girl, do I want to see Reba for my birthday next month or go to the beach for the fifth time this year. Hard decision! I am so ready to say that I am taking a trip to West Virginia and not the other way around. I surly will not visit this state as much as I do the ocean though. Fishing and hunting is all that this state has going for it, beauty here and there if you do not get sunk into the many potholes along the way. 

Well reflection and rant over! Have a wonderful day tomorrow and be safe! Nothing is worth walking your last day on earth over carelessness. Until next time….

Reality

 Depression is something that most people deal with in life. Some can fake it away but it is always lingering its cruel head in the distance. Some of us deal with it on an everyday basis, sometimes for no reason other than that is just how you are. You can have a great life but forget that for a moment between the laughter and tears. Some of us try to be people pleasers and that is our worst enemy! We try to please everyone and forget that we exist and our feelings should not be put aside to protect the feelings of those around us. Why is that? Well for some it is linked back to childhood traumas that we will never age away from. 

What does that mean? Age away from? Well sometimes people try to convince us that our past has no baring on our lives now. As an adult you should be able to put that aside and move on. For the most part we do, we are the superhero’s that no one sees. If they do see us, they don’t acknowledge the severity of what we have lived through. They will tell you of all of their past and how hard it was, and they are just fine. However one persons trauma is never alike and a lot of people that say they are fine is dealing with it in other ways. They are either dealing with some sort of addiction or they cannot settle down into a stable relationship. They symptoms of trauma is across the board in so many ways. OCD, downward spirals, highs that have nothing to do with drugs, a feeling of worthlessness.. the list goes on. 

Right now i myself am dealing with it, I have a knot in my stomach that tells me i am either ready to explode or implode. Neither of the two are ideal, sometimes it really is what it is. Sometimes there is no reason for it that others can see. They don’t see it because they are wearing selfie glasses, yes I completely made up selfie glasses out of thin air. Another-wards they see their side of their tale and not the other side of the story. And that is okay… for them!  

THE REALITY IS, we all process life events in our own way. Some of us can cover up our feelings better and some of us can fake it… until we can’t!

A baby girl

 The second grand baby is going to be a little girl. So I have my first grand baby coming in December that will be a bundle of joy little boy and then my other bundle of joy will be here in February and that one will be a little girl. Best of both worlds and we are all so excited. I will update names once the kids say that I can. 

I would love to hear from some of my readers… what was your first grandchild? What are things that you done for the baby showers? I am excited to hear from you all with your ideas. I hope everyone has a wonderful and blessed Sunday and until next time… 

Quote

 Find your peace in comfort in knowing you have done your all for yourself and those around you 

Gender reveal day

 Today is the day everyone! The gender reveal party is at 2:00, well wishes that everything goes smoothly in our little chaotic family function. This is literally the first time that I have been able to keep a secret, so yay me. I will of course update the results to everyone when calm hits my house and mind. The excitement is unbearable for my daughter, she wanted this get together but she wants to know already. Tisk tisk my child, get what you ask for and hold on to that overactive bladder for five more hours. Have a wonderful day world and thank you for stopping by.