Cravings of yesterday

I crave the feeling of
those tender arms
that lifts me up
giving me anticipation
of finding heaven.

Legs shake with
wanting and desire,
hearts race talking
to each other in
their own whispering
way.

A shiver to play
sweetly along my
neck as your lips
touch me in the
softest of melodies
that take my breath
away.

I crave that missing
feeling that sits in
the center of my heart
like a pedal finding
air once again warming
to the touch of the
sunlight.

A starlit night with
the sounds of the un-
known coming to life
as a million words we
speak to each other
quietly,only our minds
hear the words we leave
lingering in between the
lines.

That perfect feeling
of being one,being
intoned with another
person that will only
happen once in a lifetime.
No barriers to put up,
no lost words to hide
behind a mask!No reason
to be hidden behind the
flask of a drink,no lost
meanings to be discovered
when finally found.

The feeling of complete
just as being what life
wished us to be.No running
behind closed doors to
leave shadows among the
walls,no reason to fake
that perfect smile.

The arms that fulfill
all and in between,the
love of your life that
will not easily ever be
forgotten no matter how
hard you may try to find
another to take that place
that long ago was given.

No replacements can ever
walk the line of my heart
no matter how much I am to
lie and fall apart,disguise
with a new life to embark.

I crave the nights of
long ago!I walk away
back into the cold as
I put on my mask of fake
and bold.I sleep now
in the arms of another,
my dreams of you I will
always no matter what
discover,undercover!

Burnt bridges

Walking the shadow of
misunderstanding's
alone I suffer a
million words of
hopeless tomorrows.

I find I am lost
in between a dark
shadow of tormented
feelings and knowing
what I really need.

I cannot love and
be lost at the very
same time.I can burn
the bridges and sweep
away the ash but yet
I am always willing
to take the long way
and make the climb
that will get me to
the other side.

Heart flutters at
the mere thought of
such passion and truth
that at one time I
found,I look down at
shuffling feet and
wish to make the step
that may be the death
of me.

I twirl the ring on
my finger with restless
thoughts of lost.I twirl
it around and around
wondering is this my
final stop.Do I leap
or do I or give it back
to he?

Convinced I am doing
what needs to be done
my stomach knots up
telling me to run.
Steadfast are my feet,
my shuffle is one only
I can see!

My heart does not any
longer belong to me,it
has not for what seems
like an eternity.Why
do I keep a ring upon
my finger when I know
I wish it to belong to
another?

Burn the bridge and
move forward,keeping
rope beside me for one
day I will find the
strength to make the
climb that all knows
only belongs to me!

Suppressed infinity

Awkwardly silent inside
of my own thoughts
I scream
I search
I feel

awkwardly silent within myself
I suppress

I forfeit my air teasingly
just for a moment
just for a second
do I still exist?
do I still breathe the air given to me?

I let the air out from between my lips

I lay still keeping my soul bonded
forcefully not allowing it to leave from within
halting it to stay steadfast
it lays in waiting
to take flight
it escapes at night
while I sleep it finds me
without control
it leaves

On my knees I hold in life
the pit of my stomach tightens
I feel it ball into knots
it searches for release
it finds nothing

In the quickening of the night
my mind plays silently
searching for infinity
I find nothing

Hearts of faith

Wrap me softly in
the words of your
hearts whisper.Tell
me things through
your soul that only
I can hear.

Shoulder me against
your body,touch my
mind through the
thoughts that we
can hear without
the voice of our
words.

Plummet all of my
fears into the
earths ground,like
snow to melt never
to be found again.

My breath intakes
as I feel your pulse
race in anticipation
for our tomorrows,our
yesterdays erased
and forgotten and
to always be left
now in the dark.

I hear you speak a
million things in
your silence,in the
pit of my stomach
I feel your wants
and observations
of the dreams that
are never to be left
behind.I hear you
mind and dance your
song of trusting
hope.

I grasp my heart now
and run into arms of
the forgiving,my heart
now to race as I
find my own way back
into my yesterdays of
faith.

Arms of a angel

Still doing time in the arms
Of an angel, remembering
The feeling of being wrapped
Tightly in the embrace of
The only one who has had
The whole me. Freely we
Danced, tears felt upon
Our cheeks.

Trapped in the past
Fighting for the future,
Lost in time listening
To the words of that
Song that brought us
Closer together but
Still lost to us in a
Forever downfall.

She is lost in time
And remembers
The song that he
Is to always carry on
his own mind as
She is left to wonder
Does he realize those
Same words describes
Her own feelings for
Him still today. She will
Always be lost in the
Tunes of his yesterday's.

I am still doing time in
The arms of an angel,
Hearing his sweet voice
Sing the song so clearly
Into my ear, feeling his
Forever lingering tears.

I will never stop loving
The one the stars pointed
Me to, when the wreath
Is upon my door then
Maybe just maybe I will
Forget the one who
Stole my heart for his
Own.

I am left to guard all
That I am for it only
Has ever belonged to
One man.He covers
His face with a mask,
No matter how hard
We all may try the past
Will never die.

Mythical men

Two men,different sides
of the world,one fights
with his words the other
with his sword.

A grievance has taken
them both to the other
side,one in his mind
the other in the dark.

Lay down laws of what
is to be believed,one
God or many! In both
minds the other is
right but yet so wrong
they both are.

Find peace in the hero
they are perceived to
be,find sanctum where
many just wish to find
themselves in relief.

Swords in battle to
make a name,find glory
with the insane but
yet remembered for all
that he done,laying down
bodies in severe pain
and doom.

Another uses his words
to get through to the
ears of all,believes in
his God when many believe
there are many.

Lay down his life,give his
freedom for the beliefs
that we easily can live
in.Another not finding
peace until the very end.

Both are hero's in their
own right but yet I treasure
the one from the other
side who stood up and
found glory in his words
never to drawl blood from
those who refused to be
heard.

The stories of the myths
run along my mind,I look
into my own mirror and
look for my own words of
peace.I find the swords
may be easier than the
words that sometimes
are lost to me.

Made up falsities

I am giving up,Laying my
life upon the ground.No
use peering at un-won
battles that were never
worth the fight of my
mind leaving me to always
be unsound as I remember
and look around through
the back door they are
always to be found.

You think you see and
know the story well
but the slumbering
truth from alls mind
shall always dwell
unseen among the earths
floor of misery that you
see as unpure along
the lines of the canvas
that within bleeds the
truth that will never
be seen by such a cold
entity worth nothing.

You walk the dream that
you deserve to see and
feel what hides beneath,
it takes heart,it takes
soul,understanding those
that you think you are
in control.You breathe
the breath of worthier
than another among the
streets that you walk,
you will be one of the
forgotten for in your
mind there is no other.

I will forfeit this life
that I have lived with
open arms and memories
of what once was so easily
given.I am one with the
past and inclined to throw
away the future ridding
all that may walk my way,
I am just a stray that
leaves her mark upon the
back of falsities.

Silent shards of glass

Silent bowed head dreams
of life outside of body,
perplexed feelings of
lost faith trickles down
a spine now weak.

Shards of glass lie
in palm waiting to
cut the flesh of
younger days gone
by.

Pieces of memories
take hold and once
again are lost from
mind,days gone by now
are harder to define
and control.

Shimmers of brilliance
catches a hold of
thoughts,gone again
forever to be lost
among the living and
distraught.

Torn from the bone
is any kind of reckless
wants to be ever found
again,giving up on
life and anything
that can hear the
drops of salty water
fall from cheeks.

Blades cut deep wounds
in softened places
that may never heal
again,the smell of
death always to be
noticed in the nights
air.

Silent bowed head
wishes to take their
soul far away,dreams
come true for some one
day.

The hidden me

It is the starlit glow
of the night that gives
me peace and time to
reflect on the past
that today will be
once again in lost
memories.I search
for the sun once again,
this time in hopes of
real peace and open
mindedness.

Searching for the
perfect touch to
my being, searching
for the strength
of lost arms I am
consumed with dis-
pleasurable feelings
that come from anyone
else and I have once
again thrown the useless
flesh upon the ground.

I walk over him and
his degrees of what
he believes in his
very own mind.I never
lied when I told him
he would not ever have
all of me so why now
act like he has been
hurt when we all know
it was really just a
ticking time bomb
ready to explode.

I cannot turn off
the timer of lost
things,I said it
from the very beginning
and should not have
to hide from the past
that my heart found
it's best friend.That
will never be found
again,I have said
it more than once
from my mouth and
pen.

In order to find
what lays beneath
you first have to
find the real me!
one you never took
the time to see!
Once again I will
say,there is only
one who took me to
heaven and back and
only he could I ever
really trust him.

Sorry I could not
take you to the
places you wished
to be,you could
of had it all if
you had took the
time to know the
real hidden me!

In the silence of memories

It is in the silence
that I hear my memories
screaming their havoc
their loudest.Telling
me to find my way
back to myself,trying
to turn on the light
that I am bound to
turn right back out.

I have memories of a
once sweet love,reading
upon the screen words
that no other could
ever understand even
up close they still
cannot hear me scream.
I am fed up and I am
done,dreaming the dreams
that only are remembered
of one.

I watch the games that
others play,needless
they do not realize how
lucky they are.One day
they will lose themselves
in their own pot of
shame.Love is to be
spoken in sweet melodies
where no one can hear
the words that belong
to you and only he.

Can you read him?Can
you feel his heart
like it is in the
palm of your hand?Do
you dream of him in
a way that only a
true love can?Are
you full of greed
as you only think
of yourself or do
you really see what
real love is all
about.

I am discourage that
love will ever walk
through my door again
like the one my mind
still always searches
for. I miss the feeling
of completeness as I
have felt before,my
mind falls back into
these thoughtless
opening's of doors.

The sun has risen and
I am made to live another
day of hell without him
but in my mind it is
his love and strength
that I once felt that
strangely keeps me here
living in our once
perfect song of harmony.

I am claustrophobic
in this body I am to
live in!Tired of this
nothing! Blatantly
only I am the one to
always suffer,when
only my heart was
the one playing no
selfish games.Here
I go again trying
to turn off my mind,
why is he always there
to find?

drug induced beauties

I remember the days
when you were free
from the demons that
play so heavily on your
shoulders,just a small
girl with the world
ahead of her.

Ponytails and childish
smiles played on your
lips that always drove
my heart wild wishing
you were the baby I
yet did not have.Under
my wing I took you
showing you what love
was all about when your
own family was to busy
to worry about their child.

Food in your mouth and
a brand new room,you had
never had such and the
excitement on your beautiful
face was just enough to
bring tears to my eyes
and fight the battles that
were ahead,just to see
you in a soft bed and
loving arms.

I had to let you go,now
a woman with her own,
you are lost to all and I
feel helpless as I have
had to continue to watch
you fall to the hate and
greed that drugs and your
own hopelessness has
turned you to be.

A beautiful mother you
are no longer,a beautiful
soul I see slaughtered.I
have done it once,twice
and now more than I can
count.Take you back in
and fight your battles,I
miss the person I know
you are,I miss the baby
I more than once held
in the dark.

Where are you as you walk
in the same clothes as days
before?Why do you not see
a new beginning can only
start when you see yourself
like me?Your own so called
family puts a needle to
your arm,crushes the pills
that sets your nose afire,
when will you ever learn
they are nothing but predators
that care not if in flames
you burn?

You say now even around
me you do not feel comfort
but do you not see the girl
you have turned?Always
blaming the other person
like they have all control
over your life,the one that
only you can live.It starts
with you and no one else,
only you can drag your
soul now out of your own
made hell!

When and only when
you have decided to
take blame for your
own actions and be
the person that I know
you can be,can you now
walk through the door
that belongs to me!You
may say what you want
about me,no worries my
beautiful daughter,I know
it is the drugs that now
only speak!

I love you even when
you think you are nothing
but worthless and crazy!
I see the heart that still hides
in fear,stop letting others
tell you that you are nothing
and then and only then
will you have a chance
once again to be free within
and dance in the rain,only
then will you by yourself
stop the pain that was sent
to you by hell!!

I love you lacy and please
find your way back to the
people who really love you
and not the ones who want
to drag you down with them!
Please think of your babies
and your family you will
always have with me!

Forever blue

I sit and deny the words
brought to my attention
about my life and love
before now,I argue in my
own defense that I have
grown and moved on away
from the past that stroked
its wounds into my heart
like a knife finding its
way and leaving its mark.

I am ready to find my
way out of the dark,I
am ready to be a part
of the life in which you
wish to give me but
yet you do not believe
the words that from
my mouth are to leave.

I ask myself what could
it be that he sees,why can
he not believe what I am
to tell him.I think of the
drawer in which your
picture lays softly among
the shirt that matches
your eyes the shade of
the sky, I still deny.

I hold him tight and
feel the security that
his being brings me
inside and out but yet
there it is the thought
that he is holding back,
but why? His arms
wrapped tightly around
me but still the tears
fall smoothly down
my cheeks,I need room
to breathe.

I am lost and will never
be found for the person
I once was has been left
astray among memories
that I try to push aside,
but still I deny!

I lay in the bed and
remember everything
through the day that
we have said,the hearts
that we shared and I feel
me wanting to be completely
there but yet I drift away
into my own hiding place.
There I am left to cry
for my younger days.

But yet I deny that what
he says is true,sadly he
is right,I am always to
see you!Forever and
always my mind is to
be tortured among the
past, tonight I am to
sleep again in the shirt
that I should of long
ago thrown in the trash!

Never Forgotten

I can feel the pull
that can only mean
one thing,my senses
tell me something is
amiss and only I know
what this is.

I have had this feeling
one too many times,I
can feel the strength
of those perfect
eyes watching me but
yet ignoring the first
hello.

All should be known
by now that nothing
could ever make me say
the final goodbye,
always on my mind even
when in the shadows
one can always be found.

Thought it had clearly
by now been figured out
that the link of two
in such friendship could
always be felt,heart to
soul and head to toe!I
know!

I fear that the opposite
will be to timid to take
that step,even in friendship
it would be enough.I am
now tough as nails as
nothing can get me down
but my own weaknesses of
life's everyday steps.

I really long for the
friendship that only
one can give,pure honesty
and understanding.Life
is to short to let such
a power between two
disappear.

I sit and wait for
what may be my tormented
fate of the outreach
not being taken,am I to
be forsaken and ignored
forever or will life hand
me the only who knows
me for the person that
always hides beneath.

I feel what many could
not!I feel the eyes of
the one I have never yet
forgotten!The pit of my
stomach tells me all
that I need to know,I
have always felt your soul!

No goodbyes ( Bathsheba Dailey and Poet Shi )

How do I get over
you, can't stand being
away from you.

You left with no goodbye,
only a instant message
for a reply.

Didn't understand why,
until I saw you with other
guy.

My heart hit the floor !!

I couldn't believe, you
didn't love me anymore.

Only used for your gain,
left me drowning here in
pain.

Wondering, if I'll ever be
the same.

What goes around,
comes back around..

One day you'll see,
when you end up hurt
like me.

The truth can be
seen by my eyes
only and it was
your love that
scared me away
for the pain of
losing another
love I could not
chance again.

My senses were
driven by your
embraces and
sweet words of
forever affections.

I know the heartbreak
that love can bring
so easily,it was
nothing against
you it was solely
myself in my own
hidden fears of
goodbye tears.

You question my
love for you and
think I played
you're heart but
I have been there
also,left in the
dark to wipe away
the tears of a lost
love.

I am merely doing
what I have learned
to do best,hide my
heart away from
anyone I fear to
trust.

One day I hope you
see I have been
hurt already one
too many times,I
will always run
and hide.My heart
disguised!

I shudder!

Knees shaking, hands
pouring sweat like it
is merely nothing more
than rain water from
the heavens. Heart
racing leaving behind
life and security I
run for what is the
life I have grown
so use to. I shudder!

Fear driven and in
complete awe of what
chases me from my
own memories of finer
days left behind. I
am entranced in what
follows me through
the dark,I can feel
a shadow as it chases
me into the forest.
I shudder!

I am in fear and my
legs have become my
weapon against what
could be the death
of me. I run faster
looking for protection,
looking for a shelter
to hide away in and
stay dry from the
storm that shouting
its greed upon the
earth now. Lightning
is giving away my
tracks as the thunder
now booms in my ears
as if laughing at my
fear. I shudder!

I can feel the shadow
no longer and stop to
rest as hunger has taken
over my body, berries
hide in the bushes as
I take mouth fulls in
my own greed for nourishment.
The juices have run
down my face as I wipe
it with the back of
my hand and look at
what could be the color
of blood. I shudder!

My senses are telling
me to run again and
faster than what I
had before. I am racing
against time to save
myself from what hides
in the darkened forest
of fearless creatures.
They stare me down and
wait to make their
move against my being,
they want me for their
own. I shudder!

I have ran until my
legs feel like they
are going to give in
under the pressure
of my fear. What
now is un-hidden
from my eyes? I try
to disguise myself
and hide in a hole
but now my fear has
only heightened
with anticipation
of the shadow that
follows me taking
all control. I shudder!

I run just for a
minute more before
finally I fall into
the muddied ground,
my hands are now soiled
with the storms
grievance against
the world. A puddle
of water sits before
my eyes like it has
not been touched by
the dirt it lays upon.
I shudder!

Thirstily I take my
hands and gulp water
into my now dry mouth.
I have given up the
chase and stay steadfast
where my body lays,the
fight has gone from me
and I am ready for any
grief or pain that may
lay ahead of me insanely.
I shudder!

I stare down at the water
that has now become my
savior and spot of peace.
A dead tree root is in
my eyes view and it seems
so peaceful even though
no life runs through it.
I am confused but yet
enlightened that this
root has taken my attention
away from the fears I
was just feeling. I
shudder!

Still looking into the
puddle of water I can
once again feel the shadow
behind me but I sit still
to tired to run any longer.
I take my chances and
breathe what I believe
could be the last breath
that falls from in between
my lips. I look into the
puddle again with head down
and eyes just slightly
looking at the reflection
that stands behind me now.
I see myself staring down
upon me,a battle from
within is who I was fighting
the whole time.I shudder!

Forbidden fruit

Like a trigger that
exploded with a thought
from my mind I take it
farther than what I
even intended.

I cannot be defined
or walk on another's
shirttail,I am myself
and have come to terms
with who hides in the
crevasses of my own
tortured mind!

I do not expect you
or anyone else to take
me as I am for I do
not care any longer to
hide behind the falsities
of any mankind.

I seek what I wish to
find and by my own hand
I will learn the lessons
that may be forbiddingly
betrayed.I walk on my own
grounded trails of mysteries
and find with my own eyes
what only I can see or even
understand.

I have watched as others
give up and let themselves
be devastated by another's
useless mind,they throw down
their dreams until even themselves
they can no longer find.

They are buried deep within
the barriers of the blinded,
they worry they will never
be seen for what they consider
in themselves to be free and
worthy.

I have taken a step forward
and I am ready to say take
me as I am for tomorrow it
may be my dreams will come
true because I have finally
excepted the reflection
that stares back at me.

I no longer care about what
you think you may see! I am
destined to be all that only
I can be, forbidden fruit?
Well maybe!

Eye to eye

I am taken!Not by hand,
not by name,not by anything
that another can see!

I am taken though
internally and my
heart and soul has
bled for all to see!
I sit shallow and
dream of nightmares
so long ago.I had
found my fairy tale
life that so easily
I could give my all
but out of my dreams
it left me like my
white horse down the
the road it went with
four doors.

My words I spread for
all to see with my
fingers the memory I
wish to erase stays
forever in this darkened
place that I wish to
find in light but I
know with all of my
being it cannot be done
for I have given all
that I was and could
ever be to that one
person who held all
of my dreams.

I am forever consumed
with my own realities
of complexed feelings
and awkwardness that
I cannot explain.

I feel like I am forever
spiraling in the air
that I Wish to breathe
but yet my chest is
tightened and my heart
stands still not
allowing what I need
to completely feel so
I engulf the air with
all of my might but
yet still my lungs are
closed off tight.

I wish to live in death,
dream in days,never to
forget who and what brought
me to this place.I step
back and look at the
life around me,the outside
that I so long to live
seems so far away even
though my feet quickly
can carry my weight out
of the threshold that
I wish to escape.

I am conspiring against
myself,I see him when
always I wish for Someone
else.I want to live!I
want to feel!But yet I
stand still to scared
of the words that forever
bond me where I am,the
words I was given by
another man.

I will never move completely
away because I remember
the words that were
Spoken on that fateful
day!Never forget that we
are one and one day whether
here or there we will
forever be happy together
peacefully.

We see eye to eye,you and me!

Man of my dreams

I remember the long
ago fairy tales of
my yesterday and in
my own reflection I
have come to realize
that the men in our
dreams are nothing
more but figments
of our own imaginations.

I long to dance in
my lovers arms with
just a whisper of his
tender words ringing
in my ears as I feel
the warmth of his
breath on my neck
I am to realize this
is nothing less but
perfect.

I long to be lost in
my lovers thoughts
where no words need to
be spoken but those
of our beating hearts.
A seat by the willow
tree we will take as
our minds wander in
and mingle with our
long lost soul mate.

We can take a walk
hand in hand telling
of our days gone past
never speaking a word
of importance but yet
a thousand un-asked
questions to be answered
and lovingly felt.

The sun has fallen
and we did not even
realize that the time
had so quickly passed
us by because we were
so lost in each others
talking eyes and loving
embraces.

A perfect couple we
could never be for
there is no such
thing but hearts
that are true could
find their way back
into their lovers
grace with one soulful
move.

I do not ask for
much and materials
have never meant
anything to me.Just
a breath from your
heart and a touch
to my cheek is all
that I seek,within
it I see your beauty.

I want something real!

I want something that
most will never find
but in their hidden
mind.I want to silently
speak a million words
that only your heart
can hear.I want to
feel your hands on my
body as they are still
restlessly by your
side wishing for me
to find.

I want that kiss that
tells a thousand tales!
I want that dream that
in our sleep we both
shared!I want that smile
that I feel deep within
my belly giving me
shivers from head to
toe.

I see my prince as
he is finally walking
toward me.I wake up
and realize as always
it had just been a
dream that was never
meant for me!

My hearts voice

Lonely hearts swallow
the sound of silence
in the night hours of
I miss and need you
so's.

Wide awake days left
in the dark to see
empty.Pushed away
words of forgive me
is heard softly.

Known acts of un-common's
give us something to
blame,hearts though
sometimes cannot help
who gives them a lovers
flame of hopes and
desires.

Lost in my thoughts
of I know what to do!
Found in a heart that
I wish could be true!
Tempted by the chance
of one more time!Worried
that I will be left
again to cry!

Body to be found in
the safety of your arms,
hearts left to be set
on alarm.Chances are
made to be given,hearts
sometimes just have
to be forgiven!

I find hurt where I
wish to find mad!Give
up and never go back!
But this heart of mine
is not a giver upper,
I walk back into what
may be a hell made from
heaven.I walk back into
the devils grasp because
I have yet to be left
bending.I am however
maybe to forgiving!

My heart to only see
my wanting!My mind
screaming and fighting
the whole way!I push
my thoughts away as I
let my heart say what
it wants to say.

Hollow words

A soft word spoken into
the hollow of tomorrows
aching body of torments.

A kiss to be given in
the shadows of yesterdays
mishaps and endless let
downs.

A part to play in the
voice of the nights
song of grievances that
can be heard among the
angels of picture-less
memories.

A dream to spare in
this life of useless
wants that can only
find their way through
the shadows of graves
and swallowing sands
that help erase your
forgettable needs.

A cry of lost integrity
by the fallen men that
are now nothing more
but beggars on the street.
Left in the dark after
they fought our war only
wanting to find us our
peace.

A fire set to my pen
of missed words that
soon will be forgotten
among this world of
pain and conflictions.
Tear soaked paper of
the worries we live
in today,tomorrow the
sorrows will stray with
the new dawn of just
maybe!Could be!We'll
see!